THE government has seized on a once-in-a-generation opportunity to flush out as much bad news as possible in 24-hours, while the media devote the entire news cycle to the death of beloved RTÉ presenter Gay Byrne. With news outlets granting blanket coverage to the life and times of the former Late Late host, Fine Gael… Read more »
AS THE number of lives claimed as part of several ongoing criminal feuds across the country continues to rise, authorities have urged the general Irish public to maybe get used it because it isn’t going to end any time soon. “Where’s that can-do Irish spirit of persevering through hardship? C’mon guys, we’ll get through this…well,… Read more »
THE NATION has been given compassionate leave today as it deals with the passing of Ireland’s official grandad and first acceptable Gay, broadcaster Gay Byrne, who passed away aged 85. The role of the nation’s grandad is now occupied by president Michael D. Higgins who has been placed in a secure facility made entirely of… Read more »
HOMEGROWN UFC hero Tommy ‘The Windmill’ Willson stunned the world of MMA over the weekend with an incredible first-round knockout against Hugo Hernandez with a precision-perfect knee to the temple, followed by a few more digs to Hernandez’s skull just to make absolutely certain he wasn’t getting up again. Dublin native Willson thanked his trainers… Read more »
WHILE the Irish Defence Forces are today planning a mission to extradite ‘ISIS bride’ Lisa Smith from the Turkey/ Syria border, a more elite and specialised Defence Forces team are working out how to get her back to her highly dangerous town of Dundalk, Co. Louth. A spokesperson for the IDF has confirmed that while… Read more »
ONE LOCAL single woman in her 30s is on the verge of giving up on the dating scene in Ireland owing to the grim and dwindling supply of suitable suitors. 31-year-old Sarah O’Loughlin, single for 2 years 6 months and 3 weeks but who’s counting, is reportedly down to the absolute dregs when it comes… Read more »
FOLLOWING the glee with which some sections of Ireland celebrated the news that 13 female asylum seekers would not be temporarily housed in an Achill hotel due to overcrowding in a broken Direct Provision system, Ireland has made the decision to switch its official tagline from the land of a hundred thousand welcomes to ‘The… Read more »
AS IF working non-stop in one of Ireland’s overcrowded and under-resourced accident and emergency departments weren’t stressful enough, Dr. Joanne Skelly has vowed to lose her temper and ‘go off on one’ if she is disparagingly referred to as a ‘lady doctor’ one more time. Lady doctor Skelly regularly treats an endless stream of patients,… Read more »
CURRENT Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has ruled out a pre-Christmas general election, stating that he ‘didn’t feel it was right’ to send Ireland to the polls just now, and also adding that he ‘just didn’t want to, and go piss up a flagpole if you disagree’. Varadkar went on to state that May 2020 was his… Read more »
