Category: LOCAL NEWS

Nuns Promise They Won’t Have Anything To Do With Maternity Hospital Or Your Stupid Whore Vagina

MINISTER for Health Stephen Donnelly has expressed exasperation at the public’s continued questions about the church’s involvement with the new maternity hospital, and insists that he has assurances from high-ranking nuns that the hospital will offer a full range of services to ‘even the dirtiest of trollops’. “OK, we’ll admit that wasn’t his best interview… Read more »

Government Votes Down Dáil Motion To Carry Out Knick-Knack On Russian Embassy

OPPOSITION TDs in the Dáil have labeled the coalition government ‘spineless’ after it cynically voted down yet another motion tabled by rival parties, on this occasion voting against sending a stern message to the Russian embassy by doing a knick-knack. “Cowardice and hypocrisy is what it is,” went the incredulous reaction from Sinn Féin leader… Read more »

Today In Government Apologies: Selling Babies

THE government has spun it’s ‘big wheel o’ apologies’ and landed on ‘illegal birth registrations’, the fancy new term that it has coined for the practice of the Catholic Church selling babies to wealthy families and doctoring the paperwork to make everything seem legit and the State turning an ignorant eye. As such, the Minister… Read more »

DUP Won’t Nominate Deputy First Minister Unless British Government Buys Them Pony

SENDING SHOCKWAVES through the political world, DUP leader Jeffrey Donaldson has suggested the unthinkable: his party will bring down the Stormont before it even has a chance to form because it’s not happy that the Northern Ireland protocol, which his party made inevitable through its advocating for Brexit, still exists. “We won’t nominate a deputy… Read more »