THE DOOMS DAY scenario local woman Rachel Scollan had denied was ever a possibility has arrived today, as the 25-year-old tore through her back up Easter egg, which was only meant to come into cicrculation on Sunday in the event of premature consumption of her real Easter egg. “Don’t look at me, stop, I’m a… Read more »
IN THE WAKE of fears that some Dublin based residents might use the Easter holidays to decamp to holiday homes in the countryside, the Gardaí are to set up checkpoints to ensure the Dub virus is completely halted. Rural based families are living in fear of developing the dreaded ‘Dub virus’, whose symptoms include having… Read more »
A LOCAL Dublin man has put the seemingly infinite time between being tested for the Covid-19 and receiving his results to good use, WWN can report. James Dorrins (49) had attend his local testing centre by appointment what feels like several centuries ago when first developing a persistent cough, but instead of going insane by… Read more »
IT COULD be a story of chocolate bought for healthcare workers by children using all their pocket money, factories repurposing facilities to produce much needed personal protection equipment or communities supporting their most vulnerable, people creating art and moments of levity. No matter the positive news amidst the current crisis, talented local man Cormac Prannell… Read more »
THE IRISH nation has collectively gathered its thoughts in rare hive-minded action to conclude that everyone could get really used to this free money thing, with the concept of ever working again now 6 billion miles away, or that equivalent figure in euros. Lazing out back in the warm spring air in its most comfortable… Read more »
CERTAIN sections of Irish society have weighed up the senseless horror, death and economic vandalism wrought by the Covid-19 pandemic across the globe and concluded that it has been worth it after learning of the cancellation of the July 12th Orange Order marches. Roused out of their depressed stupors, people have reportedly smiled and laughed… Read more »
IGNORING a national yearning for political change as evidenced by the recent general election results, one dislikeable Irish political party has stuck to its guns by electing their most dislikeable leader yet; water metre touting, egotistical roaring sociopath Alan Kelly, WWN can unfortunately confirm. Speaking to WWN from his Tipperary home surrounded by homemade paper… Read more »
MUCH NEEDED clarification on whether or not gangland hits qualify for ‘essential service’ status has come in the form of the shooting dead of a man in Belfast, believed to be connected to a Dublin drug gang. “There’s been some confusion but lookit, life, or the taking of life has to go on. We can’t… Read more »
THE head of the company tasked with building the National Children’s Hospital has been revealed to be none other than nefarious weasel villain Scurbious McGillicuddy, who was last seen heading out of town on the front of a train that had just hit him, WWN can confirm. McGillicuddy, along with his rogue band of cartoon… Read more »
EMERGENCY crews worked right into the early hours of this morning after being called to a Waterford home where it is believed a man in his 30s had to get his tracksuit bottoms chiselled off of him. The man, who has been in self-isolation in his home for the past three weeks, called 999 yesterday… Read more »
