Black Friday Housing Sale Leaves Tens of Thousands Dead In Dublin Stampede

THE Irish nation is in mourning today in what is now being coined Black Black Friday after thousands of desperate people scrambled into a tiny housing development this morning in a bid to buy cheaper homes.

At the time of writing, 36,789 people have so far lost their lives in the manic crush shortly after the housing estate gates were opened by developers for the 20% off sale.

“We may have misjudged this one,” one source inside the company admitted, as mountains of people of all ages piled up, with more continuing to climb over them in search of a bargain.

“Yes I know they’re dead, but are there still any cheap gaffs left?” one desperate woman replied when asked to reverse her car off the sea of bodies.

Emergency services arrived on the scene some two hours later, with Gardaí urging people not to attend the Black Friday sale.

“Sure, we could call off the whole thing, but we still have several houses pending thanks to all the red tape involved – it’s like pulling teeth,” a statement from the developer explained why the sale was still ongoing until midnight tonight.

Speaking in the Dáil, Taoiseach Micheál Martin called today’s tragedy one of the worst in the State’s history, but noted that, on the bright side, the government’s housing policies have finally reduced demand.