Category: LOCAL NEWS

“Where’s Our Fucking Chips?” Demand Seagulls

THE Irish seagull community has called for emergency chips to be delivered to seaside resorts across the country amid dwindling footfall figures as a direct result of the Covid-19 lockdown. Not used to foraging for food naturally using their basic instincts, the Westernised gulls likened the current climate to a ‘famine’, stating that humans will… Read more »

Grandparents Find New Ways To Be Racially Inappropriate During Isolation

IN heartwarming scenes across the country, the nation’s elderly population are still finding ways to embarrass their children and grandchildren by finding new ways to drop racially-insensitive comments and outright bigotry into casual conversation, WWN can confirm. In Carlow, cocooned couple Martha and Edward Harris managed to make their visiting grandkids visibly squirm by holding… Read more »

Covid-19 Appointed Housing Minister After Freezing Rents, Evictions & Securing Beds For Homeless

THE FINE GAEL caretaker government has been praised for fast-tracking the Covid-19 pandemic into the position of Minister for Housing, in a grown up move that set aside the usual political infighting and sniping. Ireland, bizarrely left without a housing minister since 2017, has rewarded Covid-19’s selfless ingenuity and diligent hard work behind the scenes,… Read more »