Shit-Stirring Cousin Lives For Big Family Gatherings

A LOCAL WATERFORD cousin who loves nothing more than guiding family members towards a bickering blowout that results in relations vowing to never talk to one another again has welcomed the fast approaching festive season, WWN can report.

“Jaysus, I can’t wait. Asking Auntie Bridge how her Simon’s girlfriend is knowing she can’t stand her. Asking Uncle Michael how the fitness kick is going as he’s horsing into the sausage rolls and I’m within earshot of Granny Dee who can’t let it go without commenting on his weight,” shit-stirring cousin Sarah Easton exclusively told WWN.

What often involves a pleasant run of family get-togethers, the end of the year can take a turn for the argumentative in the event of the attendance of a prolific schemer of Easton’s prowess.

“Ah, really? Not coming home to visit his mam, wow. That’s awful, and leaving you on your own. Did you hear that Jess, cousin Cian has abandoned Auntie Trish for Christmas,” Sarah said, working the crowd and old wounds at the annual drinks in Uncle Martin’s house.

“I dunno why, I just love seeing everyone together again, it’s great to get everyone in the same room and needle away at them just to stamp out any happiness,” confirmed Easton, who is about tell her cousin John that one of the last things Grandad Sean said before he died last year was he’d be surprised if John and Fiona’s marriage would last and that their toddler Jack seems a bit ‘dim’.

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