Demands For Investigation As Supermarkets Not Really Doing Free Samples Anymore

THE COMPLETE absence of staff manning the entranceways to supermarkets in a hair net and equipped with a tray filled with various free samples of food impaled on cocktail sticks has led to calls for a nationwide investigation.

“It used to be, not long ago mind, that you couldn’t move for some psychotically smiling auld wan trying to jam a cheese sample or the like into your gob, but now? Not a chance, it’s not on, we received no notice, no official statement from supermarkets,” offered one disgruntled customer, who would be willing to head an investigative committee into the matter.

Often serving as a bonus meal or the guts of lunch if you circled back around a few times in different hats, the gratis offering of small pieces of ‘try me’ food was once a staple of the Irish shopping experience.

“What was routine and everyday is rare near never, we’ve got to fight back as consumers and say no more,” added one customer who claims to once have had finagled as much as 5000 calories worth of bit of free scones drowned in jam and cream.

“What of our rights as shoppers who light up as the sight of something free? Even if it tastes like the under-carriage of a farmer’s jocks after a day in the fields. If it’s free, it’s worth it. But now that’s another fecking thing taken from us,” decried an infuriated customer.

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