“Follow My Skin Routine With These 9 Amazing Products” Implores Waxen Figure That Looks Permanently Haunted

A HAUNTED waxen figure has appeared in your feed selling you on products it claims are responsible for its flawless, blemish free face which will haunt your nightmares due to its position in the deepest depths of the uncanny valley.

The paid for advertisement, which has arrived on your social media application due to algorithm’s knowledge of your propensity to purchase skin care products, is relying on you seeing the hawker’s impossibly reflective melted candle visage and thinking ‘I want to look like my soul was trapped in a Victorian doll too’.

A synthetic facsimile of a humanoid being, the figure blinked intently several times as it lavished praise on a cleanser ‘I swear by, it’s life changing’ only serving to make you scream before throwing your phone across the room.

“Remember you can’t spell ATE without exfoliate! Girl, this is your new go to!” implored the figure so unworldly and moist of face as to make you believe there is a planet in a far off galaxy populated by alien influencers.

Elsewhere, a glowing red orb of pulsating muscles and veins on the verge of a heart explosion has insisted that you should take his advice when it comes to diet and exercise.

Obey! Consume! Prop up capitalism by buying some WWN merch here www.waterfordwhispers.shop