Glenmore Speed Camera To Become The World’s First Inanimate Trillionaire

THERE were mixed reactions today to the news that a local speed camera is on course to become the world’s first inanimate trillionaire, WWN reports.

The Glenmore speed camera on the N25 near Glenmore, Co Kilkenny, has become notorious for generating huge revenues from unsuspecting motorists caught off guard by a sudden 100km to 80km drop in speed.

“We’ve had to build a giant data centre just to cope with the fines and points it automatically charges,” a source at Transport Infrastructure Ireland told WWN.

Tasked with reducing the vast number of deaths on the treacherous stretch of road which has taken dozens of lives over the years, support for the new camera quickly waned as it caught 31,000 motorists, the majority of whom were adhering to the previous 100kmph limit.

“We’re currently looking at buying counties Waterford and Wexford from the proceeds and calling the area New Kilkenny,” a spokesperson for Kilkenny County Council stated. “Due to its success, we’re floating the Glenmore speed camera on the NASDAQ next year. Our aim is to eventually purchase Ireland and erect even more of them and eventually take over the world.”

Meanwhile opposers have called on all fines and penalty points for anyone doing less than 100 kilometres per hour on the road to be rescinded.

“Get fucked,” a joint statement from KCC and TII responded.