Dozens Rescued From Spire After Jokers Erect Fake Polling Station Sign

SO FAR 47 voters have been rescued from Dublin’s Spire after a fake “Polling Station” sign was attached to it early this morning, forcing emergency crews into action.

Emergency services arrived on the scene at approximately 7:35am to find people desperately clinging to the monument after scaling it.

“The jokers responsible for attaching a sign pointing up the Spire will be found and brought to justice,” a spokesgarda told WWN.

It’s understood the victims’ screams could be heard echoing around O’Connell Street for several hours before being discovered high up on the 120-meter structure.

“I thought it was a load of Palestinian flags or something waving back down at me, but when one of them screamed for help and fucked their keys down at me, I realised it was a load of people stuck up there,” one eyewitness recalled.

“How they managed to climb that thing is anyone’s guess, but it’s heartwarming to see such dedication to voting in this election,” Gardaí added. “Especially when most of them were there just to spoil their votes.”

Elsewhere, voters at actual polling stations are being urged to quickly piss off home after they vote and to stop looking for their old class photographs on the school walls.