ONE LOCAL man is using his downtime during the ongoing pandemic to develop a new pastime of repeatedly sharing complex graphs presumably related to Covid-19 in some way, not that he’d know it. “Interesting,” went the remark penned by Waterford man John Bollins above a post on his social media accounts; three impenetrably complex graphs… Read more »
AS VARIOUS emergency Covid-19 payments and schemes introduced by the government take effect and help to somewhat ease people’s financial difficulties, a number of people have expressed real concern that the €350 per week emergency payment could be exploited by people. One such concerned citizen and taxpayer is local Waterford man John Crossan, who revealed… Read more »
THIS just in; parents across the country who are currently trying their hardest to juggle their new work-from-home lifestyle with a 24-hour parenting service have announced that all their kids are content at the moment, and need nothing. UPDATE: Several kids have approached their parents looking for something. UPDATE: Having helped their kids, parents can… Read more »
FINE GAEL and Fianna Fáil have apologised for sharing their initial ’10 key aims for government’ document after it was revealed that the wishy-washy promises contained within it were actually written by a Green Party supporting Galway student after smoking a particular strong strain of Jamaica’s finest export, which the student intended on sending to… Read more »
THE Irish government has today lifted all lockdown measures taken over the past few weeks to flatten the curve following the total annihilation of Covid-19 after several 5G masts were damaged, wiping out the virus indefinitely, WWN has learned. Hundreds of thousands of people took to the streets in celebration of the almost overnight destruction… Read more »
IRISH lottery officials have confirmed a record breaking number of tickets have been sold in the wake of the announcement of an unprecedented bumper jackpot prize of one ticket which exempts a lucky winner from current lockdown and affords them a single restrictions-free session of exercise. “We’ve never seen the likes of it,” confirmed Irish… Read more »
COVID-19 continues to wreak havoc on the Irish educational system, with thousands of Leaving Certificate students around the country still unsure as to when they should start to ‘properly shit their togs’, WWN can report. With schools unlikely to restart before September and the Junior Certificate exams already scrapped, attention turns to the ministry of… Read more »
THE ongoing Covid-19 pandemic and the accompanying restrictions have combined to dry up the very last drops of joy, laughter and fun for many people with its unending continuance being described as a ‘monumentally shit’ development by experts. With lockdown extended until at least the 5th of May in Ireland, the emerging long lasting change… Read more »
SCIENTIFIC experts who monitor the heat emanating from our nearest star have confirmed today that yes, there is a fair bit of heat in that sun, WWN has learned. Echoing thousands of Irish people up and down the country, scientists have categorically said the sun is very hot indeed revealing further that it has apparently… Read more »
WWN are keeping a close eye on a developing situation on the N11 at the moment, where a division of the Gardaí’s armed response unit have exchanged gunfire with a family of five who have adamantly stated that one way or another, they’re going to Courtown. Eyewitnesses say the fracas began after Gardaí, enforcing the… Read more »
