A LUNCHTIME meet-up among four Waterford friends just got awkward as hell after late-to-the-party Derek Hampton apologised for not being on time due to the slow pace of ‘some bogger on a bicycle’ ahead of him. “I was stuck behind him for ages! Anyways, what are we all having?” asked Hampton, not noticing that the… Read more »
A WATERFORD based Catholic has been granted special dispensation by Pope Francis himself to reach the religious grade of ‘professional’, WWN has learned. “Baptism, communion, confirmation done and I was still called a ‘practising Catholic’, I just felt it was a bit of an insult, I said as much to Francie. I said ‘I’ve put… Read more »
THE ‘glory days’ of being able to sort out your differences with an old-fashioned clattering match without it ending up as a topic of discussion on the Joe Duffy Show are long over, according to WWN’s source in the once-thriving bare-knuckle boxing community. “It used to be that you could get into the streets, stop… Read more »
CAUTIOUS travellers have reported that Dublin Airport seems to be moving smoothly in recent days, with no signs of the recent catastrophic breakdowns in management that lead to queues, delays and missed flights- but not everyone has let their guard down just yet. “I don’t like it, chief,” whispered one frazzled security staff member to… Read more »
SUCH IS the scarcity in supply of new cars to the market, prices continue to rise for used cars which has come as a shock to shit heap owner, Tramore man Gavin Power. “You’re telling me my ancient Micra is worth how much?” said Power to himself after curiosity got the better of him and… Read more »
RYANAIR have faced criticism for a controversial new policy that harkens back to the dark days of South African apartheid, which not even the most hardened of Ryanair critics could have possibly seen coming in 2022. “It’s you know, like, I mean, it’s just, well, eh, wow. Holy shit. Holy shit,” said one airline regulator… Read more »
SOCIAL media users have overestimated how many 17-year-old students are on Facebook this morning, such as Waterford woman Catherine Marron who took to her page today to wish everyone all the best in their Leaving Cert. “Good luck to everyone doing there [sic] Leaving Cert today x x x!” posted Marron today, despite having no… Read more »
THE coalition government has apologised for an ‘error in judgement’ in the procurement process relating the long delayed Metrolink project following revelations first reported by Waterford Whispers News. David Fennelly, chief ice cream machine maintenance engineer at fast food giant McDonalds had been awarded the lucrative contract to build and maintain the Metrolink but has… Read more »
FRESH fears have been raised over the viability of gardaí using facial recognition technology as international experts warn Irish people are uniquely ugly to such a high degree that the tech simply won’t work. “We’re not being mean we’re coming at this with a cold logic and a scientific point of view – Irish people… Read more »
A BUSY bank holiday weekend has again highlighted the struggle Dubliners have when it comes to taxis and every other facet of everyday life, with even affordable places to rent now more plentiful than a lift home. “Myself and the girlfriend cry ourselves to sleep every night trying to find a livable one-bed for less… Read more »
