Child Of Prague Let Go By Met Éireann After Poor Performance Review

MET ÉIREANN have announced a raft of job cuts citing poor employee performance in the wake of endless rain which is slowly driving its weather customers insane, WWN can confirm.

“It’s a tough time for us here, no question of that, but sometimes to move forwards you’ve got to move on from specific employees who are shit at their jobs,” Met Éireann HR told the Child of Prague, an employee with over 400 years experience in the weather altering game.

With recent flooding, the weather service has been under the sort of scrutiny usually reserved for people in the dock of the International Criminal Court and management have acted on external pressure from those criticising their recent output.

“Don’t be giving out, what did we say after that horrific July full of rain? You were on your last warning. KPIs don’t lie Child, you say you were under every bush in Ireland but the results speak for themselves, I’ve to take the submarine to work,” continued Met management, conducting the exit interview in two foot of flood water.

Security was then called as the Child of Prague became aggressive and tried to crash a live RTÉ weather update by smearing its faeces on the green screen which projects weather patterns to the public.

“Even when I do change the fucking weather I don’t get the credit, it’s all chemtrails this, geoengineering that, you think the rain’s bad now? You’ll come crawling back, you just wait and see!” the angry porcelain statue said as it carried a cardboard box filled with the contents of its desk.

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