White House Confirm They Don’t Follow Sinn Féin On TikTok, Think They’re Cringe & Would Never Date Them, Ever

THE WHITE HOUSE has confirmed that Sinn Féin is ‘mid at best’ and has ‘zero aura’ after the Irish opposition party stated it would not be attending any event in Washington DC during St Patrick’s Day festivities, citing its stance on US facilitation of Israeli war crimes in Gaza.

“Only losers boast about not going to a party they were never getting invited to anyway, and just make sure when you print this to emphasise we’re not mad, we don’t care at all, it’s not something we give a second thought to, okay, totally over it but we were never under it to begin with, it’s like not something we care about so just stop asking about it,” explained US ambassador to Ireland Edward Walsh, who placed the call to WWN.

“Sinn Féin? Never heard of her. But also, we can all decline invites to things we weren’t invited to. I decline going to the sex club with Jacob Elordi and Margot Robbie, I decline to start up front for Arsenal against Spurs, I decline to sing back up for Adele, I decline the title of world’s greatest lover, see it’s easy,” continued the ambassador, sobbing.

The White House also confirmed US president Donald Trump had no official comments on the stance himself as he was too busy falling asleep at the first convening of his Board of Peace group.

When asked if a boycott like the one Sinn Féin is observing would have any lasting impact White House press secretary said “once again, MSM lies! Our boy was NOT caught in the Epstein files. We redacted those specific ones, Donald is exonerated!”

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