Yes! Man Barely Pissed Bed Last Night After Drinking Session

THERE WAS cause for celebration for local man Craig Cummins as he awoke from a raucous night of revelry in town last night only to find barely a dribble of piss marking his sheets, setting a new record for dryness.

“Get in!” declared a hungover Cummins as he roused himself from his slumber, regaining his faculties and delighting in the fact he didn’t have to change his sheets for the first night out in a several months.

Cummins is believed to one of many men whose intake of anywhere between half and 14 pints on a night out can lead to bed-wetting via realistic dreams involving a wildfire that needs to be put out with a hose.

“The sheets are almost sort of fully white. Shit, I wish the lads were here to see this, they’ll have to retire the Pissthebed Cummins nickname, the smug pricks,” Cummins counselled himself.

The mournful fog of his hangover lifted almost instantly such was the boost not pissing the bed had given Cummins, he left his bed with a start, keen to get himself a little reward for his bladder control in the form of a dirty fry in a local greasy spoon.

“Ah fuck,” confirmed Cummins as he opened his wardrobe to fetch his coat only for a pool of piss to leak out from the bottom of the closet, soaking the bedroom carpet and his bare feet.

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