Enoch Burke To Be Shot Into Space Following High Court Ruling

THE IRISH High Court has ruled that Enoch Burke will be shot into the stratosphere to orbit the earth indefinitely for contempt of court over breaches of an order preventing him from attending Wilson’s Hospital School.

Exhausted after years of jailing, fining and warning Mr Burke to stay away from gates of the building, Mr Justice Brian Cregan handed down the landmark sentence.

“You have left this court no other option but to send you straight to space,” the judge told Mr Burke, as family members hollered and screamed before being tasered and dragged out by Gardaí.

Burke, who was suspended from Wilson’s Hospital School for refusing to address a student by a new name and pronoun, and who spent over a year in jail for refusing to leave the school grounds in protest, is to be loaded into a specially designed cannon next week during a public launch event at Dublin Castle.

However, not letting the state get one over on him, Burke proudly pointed out that due to the trajectory and orbital path, he will still be able to momentarily protest every time he passes over the country and Wilson’s Hospital School, approximately every 92 minutes.