Cannabis Seizes Garda With A Street Value Of €35k Per Year

A FLOWERING plant from the family cannabaceae has apprehended a garda with an estimated street value of 3.5 million European cents, WWN has learned.

Posing for a photo beside the large amalgamation of limbs weighing in the region of 16 stones and possessing a thick Offaly accent that was its seizure, the cannabis has called for action to be taken after this latest incident which saw a member of an Garda Síochána in a relaxed state.

“Our apprehension of said garda proves, we believe, that this era of criminalising us is a bit silly, and legalisation in some guise is needed,” cannabis said, displaying evidence including several photographs of the garda smoking the herb, alongside other photos of the garda arresting people for doing the same.

Confirming that the sample of one garda was lab tested after an initial on-the-scene test and certified 100% ‘sure my Da was a guard so I became one too’.

“The individual was in possession of an increased appetite and an unshakeable urge to listen to reggae,” explained cannabis.