Dozens Of New Counties Pop Up Following JP McManus GAA Donations


THE GREATEST geographical upheaval Ireland has ever seen has emerged today after hitherto unheard of counties have sprouted up overnight, each one looking to avail of a €1mn donation from billionaire JP McManus for their county board.

“Do we give you our bank details or how does this work?” a representative from the Eastmeath GAA county board said in an email to JP McManus.

“Ah come on, you absolutely have heard of Faffen, it has the Bunnakeady Mountains, Lough Fliuch and sure isn’t Hollywood actor Cormac McCormick from there. Anyway, I’ve taken the liberty of filling out the cheque for you, you just need to sign it here,” shared an enthusiastic GAA official for county Faffen, which apparently borders Galway, Laois and Wexford.

The appeals made by several new counties have been rejected out of hand for their obviously made up nature such as Paois, Merry, Fublin, Dicklow and Cork.

Elsewhere, Irish tax experts confirmed ‘yes’ it really is this easy to avoid scrutiny of your tax affairs as a billionaire in Ireland.

“Chuck a few quid to charity too and you’ll be labelled a legend,” confirmed one accountant who specialises in putting money where Irish revenue services can’t touch it.

Meanwhile, a local man on an average salary has been told that he actually does still owe that income tax he refuses to pay despite giving a homeless person €50 last week.