2,000 Striking Ambulance Staff To Be Ignored By Government Unless They Can Shutdown Country’s Transport Network

ANNOUNCING three days of strike action in May and June over pay conditions, SIPTU and Unite ambulance members have been told by the government to prepare to be ignored as they ‘only have wee small van yokes’.

“If you just announce strike action and abide by those terms, we’re not really in the business of agreeing to terms,” confirmed the government’s Minister for Capitulating When Being Held to Ransom.

“Chances are we’ll be yawning through talks in which your members discuss your intolerable works conditions and low pay, ‘cus unless you’re shutting down the nation’s road infrastructure with big vehicles then we’re not arsed playing ball,” added the Minister.

Outlining a new era of dispute resolution, the government confirmed that unless striking workers are willing to blockage ports, roads, train tracks and other key infrastructure, then the emergency magic money tree which can produce €500mn at a moment’s notice will remains unshaken.

“We’re not asking the ambulance crew to strike in this way, we’re just saying that the blueprint for getting what you want is now there and you’d be foolish not to exploit it. We don’t get out of bed and to the negotiation table these days for anything less than a complete atrophying of Irish businesses and society,” added a government spokesperson.

UPDATE: The nation’s SNAs have begun blockading several roadways using a number of rented trucks.