Man Praised For Unique Talent Of Making Things Worse Every Time He Opens His Mouth
AN IRISH man is receiving praise for his superhuman ability to make things worse every time he opens his mouth.
Patrick O’Donovan, a Fine Gael politician and Minister for Communications and Sport, was praised by people for this unique skill again yesterday when he suggested the Irish media watchdog should investigate media outlets for their seemingly ‘favourable coverage’ of the recent fuel protests.
“I don’t know how he does it, like I’m always trying to get fired in work but I just can’t quite hit on the most insanely stupid and detached comment possible, I wonder could I pay him to come up with something since he’s such a natural at it?” shared one member of the public, who was envious of O’Donovan’s ability to always have the worst and loudest take on any hot-button issue.
The Limerick man could be set for a very lucrative post-politics career in crisis management and PR with many global firms seeking out his opinions on things so that they can do the exact opposite in an effort to avoid cataclysmic reputational ruination.
“As a meddling mother-in-law with a PHD in unhelpful comments, I look up to the Minister as a hero when it comes to saying the wrong thing at the wrong time and doubling down,” added one local woman, in awe of the fact the Minister for Communications had ‘fuck all’ to say about Grok generating revenge porn imagery but could write a book on how he didn’t see anyone against recent protests interviewed on TV.
Elsewhere, there are fears that O’Donovan’s ability is actually contagious.
“Yeah, I dunno maybe Patrick coughed in a recent cabinet meeting ‘cus next thing I know I’m announcing the army has been deployed on the streets even though this was news to the army, the Minister for Defence, the rest of the government cabinet and wasn’t actually happening in any shape or form at the time,” confirmed Minister for Justice Jim O’Callaghan.
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