IT WAS unfolding like any other carefree and fun night in a city centre nightclub until it was gate-crashed by a group of 30-somethings in search of a post-pub closing pint. Young and effervescent regulars had been lost in amongst the throngs of sweaty dancers, but the kill-joy capacity of quickly aging 30-somethings has rendered… Read more »
LOCAL WOMAN Caroline Balton prides herself on her hands-off non-judgemental acceptance of everyone and the world around them with the one caveat that she reserves the right to make them the subject of the most excoriating and toxic gossip and judgement anyone can muster. “You know what I say each to their own, Margaret, it’s… Read more »
DESPITE it being over a decade since it was a thing, local Farmville diehard Mark Jenkins is still sending family members and friends Farmville requests like it was 2010, WWN reports. “He poked me the other day, I didn’t even know Facebook still had that feature,” daughter Jessica opened up, “apparently he asked me to… Read more »
“THAT’S one of the good ones now,” local dad Tommy Kerns quickly pointed out to daughter Maria as she unwrapped her brand-new air fryer. Despite the €49.99 Tesco price tag still attached to the box, Mr Kerns explained that 50 euros is a good price for such a kitchen appliance, stating that there are far… Read more »
FEARS are growing that the world has lost it’s hard-earned tolerance for Trumpishness and that the upcoming week will hit people like a bottle of tequila after a year of sobriety, as the former president braces himself for an arrest and the entire United States prepares to lose its mind completely. Trump issued a post… Read more »
GIVING up an addictive substance can be one of the most difficult things an addict can go through which is why we here at WWN have compiled a list of things you can say to recovering alcoholics to show you understand what they’re going through. “Give me a shout when you’re back on it!” Reassuring… Read more »
THERE has been an outpouring of sympathy directed towards members of the DUP after the party became the first entity to receive a collective diagnosis which confirms they suffer from a debilitating and life-changing condition. Yesophobia, a paralysing phobia of the word ‘yes’ affects 1 in 500 million people but remarkably affects 100% of people… Read more »
MEDIA mogul Rupert Murdoch is to be wheeled down the aisle for the fifth time at the ripe young age of 92, proving that true love and a net worth of $17bn can conquer anything, even the fact that you look like Skeletor’s more-evil dad. His new bride-to-be is 66-year-old Ann Lesley Smith, with whom… Read more »
IT’S day two of the bilateral meeting between Russian leader Vladimir Putin and Chinese leader Xi Jinping and things couldn’t be going better as focus shifted to their mutual love of practicing their evil laughs. “Oh, you do that in the mirror too? I thought I was the only one,” Xi said, as the formalities… Read more »
