Read Exclusive Excerpts From Bono’s Memoir

AFTER receiving a 1,700 page first draft from U2 frontman Bono, the publishers of his forthcoming autobiography have finally managed to whittle the tome down to a ‘more manageable’ 567 pages, set to hit bookshelves on the 1st November. We’ve had a leaf through the book on Bono’s insistence, and feel we should print a… Read more »

Today In Government Apologies: Selling Babies

THE government has spun it’s ‘big wheel o’ apologies’ and landed on ‘illegal birth registrations’, the fancy new term that it has coined for the practice of the Catholic Church selling babies to wealthy families and doctoring the paperwork to make everything seem legit and the State turning an ignorant eye. As such, the Minister… Read more »

Biden Accidentally Sends 40 Billion Aides To Ukraine

BEWILDERED and full of questions, an immeasurable number of White House interns and aides have been dumped off Lockheed C-5 Galaxy military transport planes and left on Kyiv airport tarmac in what is perhaps the biggest blunder of Joe Biden’s presidency yet. Biden, having secured support from lawmakers for a $40 billion aid package to… Read more »

Here’s Your Eurovision 2022 Drinking Game

THERE’S no way in the wide earthly world that the Eurovision song contest can be enjoyed sober, so here’s a handy drinking game to help you through hour after hour of what is often referred to as ‘musical hell’. Choose your alcohol of choice, and then take: 1 drink – Every time a saxophone solo… Read more »