AS Harry bids a fond farewell to his native home in search of a better …
AS Harry bids a fond farewell to his native home in search of a better life fending for himself in the wild beauty of the plains of Canada, he has rounded up all of his family members and Prince Charles for one last hurrah. Harry, who will spend his life eating Walrus meat and wearing… Read more »
PARAMEDICS were called to a Dublin man’s house after he was left trapped under and ultimately crushed by a deluge of election campaign leaflets fired through his letter box following the first weekend of 2020 general election campaigning. Declan Brohan (59) had been looking forward to the arrival of candidates at his door as it… Read more »
DESPITE learning a vast array of words and phrases in her 26 years on the planet, Dublin woman Charlotte Hogan continues to reply to just about every single question with “100%”, a condition scientists believe is becoming more widespread among younger generations. “Charlotte seems to have developed a one-for-all answer to just about any question… Read more »
LIVERPOOL’S long wait for a title is almost over, with even the most pessimistic of football fans conceding it is nigh on impossible that the Merseysiders could let their commanding lead slip. And yet, the history books of the beautiful game are littered with examples of unbelievable twists and turns, both cruel and euphoric. Just… Read more »
A PANIC-stricken Fine Gael have held an emergency budget meeting to divert as much public funding as possible to their general election campaign, following a shocking poll that shows them trailing behind Fianna Fáil by several points. “Pull as much cash as you can away from housing services, fuck it we need it more” cried… Read more »
YOUR ONE STOP SHOP for all the twists and turns from today’s campaign trail: As the drug gang violence continues to spill out onto the streets politicians have denied this is a ‘hot button election issue’ as “most of the communities terrorised by the gangs don’t bother voting”. Fine Gael went on to ask the… Read more »
THE STREAMING giant Netflix has named Ireland as the location for the next few series of the popular ‘Narcos’ series, stating the country was the obvious choice after recent drug-related headlines. Netflix is sticking close to the winning formula of a filming in a narco-state terrorised by brazen criminals, enabled by inept political leadership from… Read more »
WHAT is being labeled as a ‘simple’ administration error that ‘could have happened to any one of the bodies’ being stored in the New York City coroner’s office, the body belonging to billionaire sex trafficker and friend to the famous and the powerful, Jeffrey Epstein, has been mistakenly destroyed via burning before being dumped in… Read more »
AFTER news that a 17-year-old child was murdered and had his body dismembered as gangland violence reached a barbaric low of incomprehensible sub-human savagery, one concerned local cocaine user expressed hope that horrific murders don’t disrupt his regular weekly supply. “Ah it’s only a bit a coke,” confirmed semi-regular, only when I’m out out cocaine… Read more »
STRATEGISTS at Sinn Féin headquarters have devised a foolproof plan to ensure their party receives the same amount of airplay on RTÉ over the course of the 2020 General Election by dropping snippets of extreme racism, misogyny, right-wing nonsense and outright lies into their rhetoric from now on. Party leader Mary Lou McDonald is not… Read more »
