DESPITE it being over a decade since it was a thing, local Farmville diehard Mark …
“THAT’S one of the good ones now,” local dad Tommy Kerns quickly pointed out to daughter Maria as she unwrapped her brand-new air fryer. Despite the €49.99 Tesco price tag still attached to the box, Mr Kerns explained that 50 euros is a good price for such a kitchen appliance, stating that there are far… Read more »
FEARS are growing that the world has lost it’s hard-earned tolerance for Trumpishness and that the upcoming week will hit people like a bottle of tequila after a year of sobriety, as the former president braces himself for an arrest and the entire United States prepares to lose its mind completely. Trump issued a post… Read more »
GIVING up an addictive substance can be one of the most difficult things an addict can go through which is why we here at WWN have compiled a list of things you can say to recovering alcoholics to show you understand what they’re going through. “Give me a shout when you’re back on it!” Reassuring… Read more »
THERE has been an outpouring of sympathy directed towards members of the DUP after the party became the first entity to receive a collective diagnosis which confirms they suffer from a debilitating and life-changing condition. Yesophobia, a paralysing phobia of the word ‘yes’ affects 1 in 500 million people but remarkably affects 100% of people… Read more »
MEDIA mogul Rupert Murdoch is to be wheeled down the aisle for the fifth time at the ripe young age of 92, proving that true love and a net worth of $17bn can conquer anything, even the fact that you look like Skeletor’s more-evil dad. His new bride-to-be is 66-year-old Ann Lesley Smith, with whom… Read more »
IT’S day two of the bilateral meeting between Russian leader Vladimir Putin and Chinese leader Xi Jinping and things couldn’t be going better as focus shifted to their mutual love of practicing their evil laughs. “Oh, you do that in the mirror too? I thought I was the only one,” Xi said, as the formalities… Read more »
STUBBORNLY impervious to the very concept of reality, the Irish property market has manfully taken the news of a potential banking crisis in its stride with house prices rising by 87% in the last hour. “Fuck you all, I’m the most precious material in the known universe,” shouted one for sale sign pitched into the… Read more »
ALTHOUGH the world cannot be certain as to what Chinese leader Xi Jinping is talking about to Russian premier Vladimir Putin during their meeting today, we can be certain about what you need to be talking about to your estranged loved ones before it’s too late. If you haven’t spoken to your mum and dad… Read more »
UK HOME SECRETARY Suella Braverman could barely contain her delight after a recent Airbnb jaunt to Rwanda, with UK media picking up on her effusive 5-star review of a mid-construction detention centre. “The rooms were so small you couldn’t swing a cat in them, just lovely, I lost to will to live and I was… Read more »
