Céad Míle Slán: Ukrainians Had A Good Auld Stint In Fairness To Us

THE NATION collectively patted itself on the back today for its continued support of Ukrainian refugees before wishing them all well in the future.

“Sound auld bunch in fairness to them, but best they head off before it gets dark,” many agreed, as the government suddenly cut State funding for hotel accommodation. “Might come to bite us on the rental market arse though, but sure we’ll come to that door when we close it”.

Spiralling homeless figures have become a priority, with badly needed hotel rooms to be freed up so we can continue obliterating Irish tourist numbers.

“The war is still going on!” one Ukrainian woman shouted, to deaf ears, as the nation quietly got on with its own living through a never-ending nightmare loop of inflation, homelessness and a world gone mad.

“It’s sad for them, but sure look it,” one man pointed out. “Didn’t they have a good auld stint all the same – they’re probably sick of the sight of us at this stage.”

Disappointed with the lack of response from the anti-everyone-but-us brigade, the Department of Immigration went one further in a bid for some praise.

“What if we developed an app that notifies you lot every time we deport someone foreign? We can call it ‘Céad Míle Slán’,” asked the Minister for Justice, Home Affairs and Migration, Jim O’Callaghan TD. “Would you love us then?”