HEY kids! Are you looking for something to do during that long stretch between ‘going to see the St. Patrick’s Day parade’ and ‘watching your Da get carried into the back of a taxi while your mam apologises to everyone’? Here’s a few things you can get up to! 1) Run around the pub An… Read more »
AHEAD of the St Patrick’s Day festivities here in Ireland and around the world well-meaning tourists and parade participants are being reminded that engaging in ‘greenface’ can be seen as highly offensive to Irish people. “You might not mean to cause offense but greenface is strictly for Irish people, and no, not the I’m 64th… Read more »
US PRESIDENT Joe Biden has expressed his confusion and disappointment at the realisation that it is Leo Varadkar rather than Micheal D. Higgins he is receiving as Ireland’s head of state on St Patrick’s Day. “There’s been a mix up the Irish guy, you know the one. Quotes poetry, has dogs taller than him. Looks… Read more »
THE ULTIMATE competitor with a focus and will to win matched by no one else in the game, Johnny Sexton unveiled his latest attempt at motivating his teammates ahead of Ireland’s decisive Six Nations clash with England. “Lads, you all know how ridiculous I’ll look if we fail to win so don’t let it happen,”… Read more »
RYAN TUBRIDY’S shock announcement that he is to step down from The Late Late Show gig after 14 years has already prompted violent altercations in the RTÉ canteen as Miriam O’Callaghan can be heard shouting ‘best believe I’ll cut any bitch that tries to take this from me’. With the bookies already offering money on… Read more »
INSPIRED by a German woman claiming to be Madeleine McCann an Irish stallion is seeking answers at to his true identity with a DNA test possibly providing the confirmation that he is in fact the infamous Shergar. The victim of a notorious IRA kidnapping in 1981 which shocked the nation which maintains a fascination for… Read more »
ACCORDING TO a number of reports, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg has been informed that his tenure at the helm of the company he founded has come to an end after a year which saw 21,000 job losses. “Mark buddy, don’t take it personally but it’s just in safer hands with me,” the Metaverse avatar of… Read more »
AS PART of its quest to sell the soul of the game to the highest bidder, FIFA have confirmed that the 2026 version of the World Cup tournament will be an enhanced format with extra participants, requiring the entire earth’s population to participate. “What a special day, today I feel qualified for the World Cup,”… Read more »
THE family of a US drone taken out by a Russian fighter jet this week has revealed the MQ-9 Reaper had only one day left of its tour before it was expected to return home, WWN sadly reports. US officials have condemned the incident where a Russian U-27 fighter jet dumped fuel on the innocent… Read more »
