RUSSIA’S benevolent leader Vladimir Putin has expressed his disinterest in interfering in the upcoming Irish election, despite his obvious interest in destabilising the West. Senior KGB agents, unrivalled in the field of sowing the seeds of discontent in democracies, had recently presented Putin with a 24 inch thick dossier on Ireland with endless recommendations for… Read more »
GWYNETH PALTROW, part-time actress and full-time spreader of reckless homeopathic ‘remedies’ which could put people’s health at risk has taken a break from selling candles that smell like her vagina to return to her true passion in life; telling women what they should shove up their own vaginas. Not to be discouraged by the fact… Read more »
NORTHERN Ireland has finally welcomed back the NI Executive following a three year hiatus, with politicians and citizens on both sides of the political divide agreeing to smother their true feelings with a blanket knitted from pure solid anger, WWN can confirm. Both Sinn Féin’s Michelle O’Neill and the DUP’s Arlene Foster, the new executive’s… Read more »
AS BRITAIN continues to treat Harry Windsor and Meghan Markle’s decision to step away from their positions in the Royal Family like it is a pivotal scene in a disaster movie, the British people have expressed profound confusion over their dismay at a foreigner actually leaving the country. Having spent much of the recent past… Read more »
REMAINING coy on the exact date for this year’s general election, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar spoke to WWN and helpfully divulged some details which will be of use to the electorate ahead of what experts are calling ‘surely the most disappointing array of politicians’ on record: – Unhappy with the current state of public services? The… Read more »
IT’S been an emotional morning for 33-year-old Waterford native Brendan Whelan, who is finally out standing in the torrential rain and gale force winds of a storm with his actual name on it. “Storm Brendan, a great day for the parish” roared Whelan, leaning at a 45 degree angle into the high winds of the… Read more »
NERVOUSLY TAPPING her leg with the TV remote, clearly in the throes of some mental anguish, local woman Emma Kennedy is currently urging herself not to throw away the next two months of her life by getting addicted to watching Love Island all over again. “You know you’re better than this Emma, don’t become a… Read more »
SHUNNING the excesses of heavy drinking and late nights with little sleep, The Lads™ (Ian, Chunky, Matt the Head, Liam and Scanno) have convened in the sitting room for an evening of eye masks, dressing gowns and high levels of self care and pampering. “Jesus, lads, we need to do this more regularly,” shared Dermot… Read more »
SINCE pictorial depictions of Christ Our Saviour began, there has been consistent, recurring physical features which have echoed down the centuries, defining his image in the mind of every worshipper however, this is all set to change thanks to some new research carried out by religious scholars. Recently unearthed first hand accounts of Jesus reveal… Read more »
NOT informing the Queen in advance? Bitter Palace rows. The Daily Mail claiming the number ‘666’ is visible on the scalp of Meghan Markle? With the intrigue, rumours and wild speculation at its peak, WWN gets to the bottom of the only issue worth occupying the world’s interest at this fairly quiet lull in news… Read more »
