A RARE meteorological phenomenon was visible from Russia yesterday as the world’s biggest snowflake appeared in Moscow’s Red Square. Complaining about how mean everyone has been about his illegal war and countless war crimes, the snowflake who also goes by the name Vladimir Putin told a crowd such targeted bullying hurt his feelings. “No, I… Read more »
“EUROVISION isn’t going to text you honey, it’s time to move on” The words of Ireland’s closest and most supportive girlfriends, who rushed to the nation’s side as the ultimate music competition fuckboy left it waiting by the phone once more. “So what if you see blue ticks on the 50 WhatsApp messages you sent,… Read more »
IT’S not easy picking these definitive lists and while some may feel there’s a few glaring omissions, the majority of discerning music fans who know their stuff will find little to disagree with. Behold, the most glorious musicians to ever wield a six-string: It’s The Ax-man himself, Ed Sheeran displays lightning quick fingers along the… Read more »
THE GAA has today issued a brief statement in the wake of renewed debate surrounding the use of the pay per view GAA GO app for high profile hurling matches rather than airing them on RTÉ. “Oh don’t worry, you’ll pay for GAA GO and you’ll like it,” the statement read, the letters arranged in… Read more »
AIRPORT security officials have announced that baggage checks before flights are taking longer than expected these days thanks to men like Ian Malone who pack every electrical cable known to man into their carry-on luggage case. “They said remove all iPads, computers, they didn’t say anything about the nine different charging cords or the 25m… Read more »
STAFF at the Department of Justice were allegedly doorstepped yesterday afternoon at their offices by several ‘well-built and stern looking men’ who began demanding over €400k in cash from the State ‘for legal fees’, WWN has learned. Arriving in blacked-out SUVs, the rough and ready looking men began knocking on doors and windows of the… Read more »
RTÉ producers have confirmed they are in talks with a tin of drying grey paint to host the station’s flagship talk show, The Late Late Show, WWN reports. The lead-based half-filled tin has now joined the race for the nation’s hotseat and has promised to continue the show’s tradition of treating guests like politicians and… Read more »
PRIVATE CARS will no longer be permitted on College Green in Dublin from the end of May. While the decision is being celebrated by locals and cycling enthusiasts, behind Dublin City Council’s decision there lies seriously sinister motivations. How does WWN know this? Because we talked to our cousin Barry, and he’s in an invite-only… Read more »
IN WHAT is believed to be the largest investigation ever launched inside the four walls of no.23 Riverside Court, Waterford, father-of-three Declan Heslip has vowed to get to the bottom of who has altered the perfectly adjusted settings on the toaster. “It was an untameable beast for so long, do you know the blood, sweat… Read more »
