China Warns Hong Kong It Won’t Have Democracy Much Longer If It Keeps Insisting On Using It

FRESH from continuing to casually imprison over 1 million Uighurs Muslims in harmless sounding ‘reeducation’ camps, the Chinese government has reacted to the news that Hong Kong’s recent elections results saw big wins for pro-democracy candidates with a predictably laid back response. “Yeah… if you’re going to insist on using your democracy like it’s an… Read more »

Michael Healy-Rae Calls For Drunken Assaults To Be Made Legal

INDEPENDENT TD Michael Healy-Rae has called on the government to reexamine laws on drunken assaults, stating that current laws are “draconian” and “biased against rural Ireland” after two of his adult children were found guilty of assaulting a man this week. Kevin Healy-Rae, 22, along with his brother Kerry County Councillor Jackie Healy-Rae, 23, had… Read more »

Local Man’s ‘Genuine Fears’ About Immigrants Sound Suspiciously Similar To Baseless Racist Stereotyping

LOCAL MAN Anthony Ringley voiced his ‘genuine fears’ for the umpteenth time this week following the news that 16 men were lucky to be found alive in a sealed container on an Irish ferry bound for Rosslare Port. “‘Immigrants’, ‘refugees’, economic migrants, I don’t discriminate – they all feature in my made up stats and… Read more »