WITH numbers of practicing Catholics in Ireland dwindling by the day, many desperate people have resorted to joining a growing number of cults, including Scientology, McGregorism and even Satanism, but one emerging cult has recently come to the fore due to its dangerous practices and backward ways, the cult secretly known as ‘Children Of The… Read more »
FEARING that ‘Vote Gate’ may evolve into a massive scandal that could result in the abolition of the Dáil itself, TDs from both sides of the house have agreed to implement a number of measures to avoid a recurrence of the issue, including the installation of voting buttons in the Dáil Bar and the Dáil… Read more »
WHY WASTE your time with reckless driving, free-climbing mountains with no safety harness or gorging on the alphabet of drugs when the real adrenaline generating hobby these days is taking the ultimate risk and glugging back on some thick, warm and residue heavy Irish water. Be it from the tap or the bottled form, there’s… Read more »
ALTHOUGH the vast majority of the Irish population have taken the DUP’s tumultuous past couple of weeks as cause for riotous celebration and endless laughter, WWN has tracked down one Waterford native who is currently the only Irish person adopting an ‘ah you’re have to feel sorry for them’ stance on the party’s ongoing woes. With… Read more »
EVERYONE’S favourite speaker of the House Of Commons John Bercow needn’t worry about being stuck for a few quid after stepping down from his position after the canny orator has lined up a plum role as the spokesperson for Lockets, the popular throat lozenges. Bercow was seen as a ‘perfect fit’ for the brand, with… Read more »
A NEW mobile app which allows gardaí to access driver and vehicle histories instantly is set to revolutionise the way they can do you for having no tax, NCT or insurance, WWN can confirm. Discontent with seizing just 9 cars a day from unaccompanied drivers, the new technology will allow gardaí to process fixed charge notices on the… Read more »
FANS HAVE BEEN queuing up outside New York’s Broadway and London’s West End areas as the fizzy drink/Andrew Loyld Webber crossover extravaganza no one knew they wanted premiers just in time for Halloween. “Brand synergy and songs bursting with juicy orange flavour? Who do I have to bribe to get a ticket,” exclaimed one excited… Read more »
THE HOTTEST ticket on the island of Ireland in the wake of the legalisation of same-sex marriage and abortion in Northern Ireland is for a place in the queue to see the look on Arlene Foster’s face, WWN can reveal. With packed queues tailing back for 10 miles, Foster’s mug along with those of her… Read more »
HAS YOUR fun, always-up-for-the-craic friend been engaged with a partner in a loving, rewarding and stable romantic relationship, leaving you with no one to properly go on the pull with? Is it now time to consider the nefarious option of plotting to break them up, because c’mon, your friend’s a stunner and is always good… Read more »
A COUNTY Clare couple who were told they could never have kids together by a specialist were branded ‘lucky bastards’ by family and friends, despite desperately trying to conceive for the past 6 years. “I know they’re probably feeling a little deflated now, but when they realise the advantages of not having children then I’m sure they’ll snap… Read more »
