Derek Acorah Fierce Quiet These Days

WWN can confirm that famed spiritual medium Derek Acorah has no upcoming TV projects in the works, with many believing that the Most Haunted star may have lost his spirit-contacting mojo in recent years. “Granted, Derek died in 2020, but that shouldn’t stop him really” said one insider we spoke to, looking at an Acorah-less… Read more »

Donegal Told They Can Have Train Or 100% Redress, Not Both

MICA-struck homeowners in the north west have been told that there’s a certain amount of ‘Donegal Dosh’ in the kitty for either the rebuilding of their homes or the construction of a new rail corridor, whichever they prefer. “It’s either, not both” declared a spokesperson for the Department of Housing, flanked by a nodding mouthpiece… Read more »

Radio Stations Going To Play New Adele Song Until You Puke Your Fucking Ring Up

RADIO stations the world over have vowed today to continually repeat Adeles new single over and over again until ‘you puke your fucking ring up’, WWN reports. Parking Ed Sheeran’s played-to-death track Bad Habits for a bit, chirpy self-obsessed radio DJs are expected to now bombard listeners with Easy On Me, the British singer’s first… Read more »

Fred Durst Sentenced To Life For The Nookie

IT’S been a bad week for the Durst family following not only New York real estate heir Robert Durst’s guilty verdict for the murder of his best friend, but also the incarceration of his far-removed cousin Fred for crimes against music. “I did it all for the nookie!” screamed the 51-year-old Limp Bizkit frontman as… Read more »

Chaos In US Justice System As Rich Man Pays For Crimes

RICH WHITE people everywhere who presumed their wealth would insulate them from punishment for crimes ranging from fraud, assault, murder and minor war crimes are said to be in a state of panic following the handing down of a life sentence to Robert Durst, the subject of HBO documentary ‘The Jinx’. “This isn’t the America… Read more »