AS MANY as 126 pubs have been sanctioned by authorities for flouting Covid-19 related restrictions, prompting a shocked and appalled Irish public to carefully make a note of the pubs in question with a future session in mind. Brazen pubs eagerly opening in defiance rules and guidelines are reasonably assumed to be the exact sort… Read more »
AUTHORITIES’ worst fears in relation to a lack of compliance with Covid-19 guidelines have been realised after gardaí discovered a meat factory serving substantial meals to pint-drinking school children. “Oh God, this is exactly the kind of scenario we wanted to avoid,” confirmed one NPHET official, head in hands. With recent clusters emerging in meat… Read more »
ROLLING his eyes towards the heavens yet again Taoiseach Micheál Martin has ordered government officials to restrain Tánaiste Leo Varadkar so he can swap out his face mask for a muzzle, WWN understands. “If you’re not undermining me and the government by leaking every-fucking-thing to the press you’re tweeting about how middle class white guys… Read more »
CALLING a press conference to confirm Russia has ‘successfully developed’ a rushed through Covid-19 vaccine for which he has provided no proof of its supposed effectiveness, leader-for-life Vladimir Putin presented a series of successful vaccine volunteers to Russian state media. Delivering remarkable first-person testimonies of the miracle vaccine while lying in stiff horizontal positions, the… Read more »
IN AN attempt to reflect the fact that Ireland will be living with Covid-19 for some time to come, the government revealed that it will be moving away from a ‘four phases’ model and adopting a colour-coded system which it promises to botch the explanation of very soon. “Fear not, the details will be suitably… Read more »
“IT’S just a little something I’ve taught myself back during lockdown, you know you can’t be ordering takeaway every night” beamed Waterford dad Brian Sewell, dishing up chicken fajitas for his family’s dinner for the 22nd time in 22 weeks. Sewell, 44, had entered the Coronavirus lockdown without any culinary skills beyond toast and toast… Read more »
DETERMINED not to let the coronavirus pandemic come between her and her public adoration of her county team, Tipperary woman and die-hard supporter, Anne Phelan has vowed to proudly wear her Tipp jersey everywhere she goes. Despite all hurling fixtures being rescheduled for November, Phelan’s own biological GAA clock was hesitant to change, defiantly opting… Read more »
DOZENS of World leaders met in Geneva, Switzerland last night for a rare but positive meeting into the fast tracking the year 2021, bringing it forward by four months in the hopes of boosting the planet’s morale and finally saying goodbye to the worst year in living memory, 2020. Taking just 14 minutes to deliberate,… Read more »
WANT to know all about the disputed Belarusian election results, the crackdown on the political opponents of Alexander Lukashenko, the cutting off of internet and the subsequent protests? Many people are turning to local Polish friend Alek Symanski for all the essential details, and while you might fear your Polish friend may tire of your… Read more »
