10 Ways Leo Varadkar Could Have Better Phrased ‘Urban Ireland Pays For Rural Ireland’ Comments
SPARKING debate and controversy with his comments about how tax generated from economic activity in urban areas goes directly to paying for large subsidies to farmers, former Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has been labeled ‘tone deaf’ by some with others praising his comments for redressing the balance of public perception of the modern Irish economy.
Engaging with PR experts with a speciality in clear communication, WWN hit itself on the head with a hammer before coming up with 10 ways Varadkar’s message of ‘urban Ireland pays for rural Ireland’ could have been delivered more tactfully:
1) Listen turf munchers, none of this illegal hedge cutting and river polluting happens without urban taxpayers funding it.
2) I’ll say it slower for the people who missed economics class because their 12-year-old culchie ass was driving tractors and caking the roads in shit; we own you.
3) Ok, here’s a deal; I’ll try living without the 90% of food you export abroad anyway and you try one matcha tea and vegan Singapore noodles without soiling your crusty long johns.
4) What do you expect from me, it’s Leo Varadkar, not Leo Varadtractor. Anyway Brazilian beef is better, it’s just a fact!
5) Who do you think paid for your flawless broadband that let’s you look up ‘Dublin woman’s ankles’ on filth sites you Ben Sherman-wearing ingrates.
6) You farming fucks are so overly subsidised by the tax payer you make a single mother with 9 children by 10 fathers blush!
7) Now sing it with me now: Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena. Que tu cuerpo es pa’ darle alegría y cosa buena. Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena. Eh, Macarena. Aighhht!
8) I’m going to go out on a limb here and reference factual information about the distribution of the tax burden based on location and hope you’ll respond reasonably.
9) During my 7 years as Taoiseach I oversaw homeless figures go from 8,000 to 14,000 people… wait, where am I going with this again? Ah yes, you’re all a bunch of knuckle-draggers.
10) Every time someone in the city purchases an avocado toast for breakfast, that’s three tractors for you lot.