CITING the need to preserve the public’s sanity, health authorities recommend keeping 2 miles away from Liverpool fans for the foreseeable future with no sign that the cautious measure will be lifted within the next 30 years. Liverpool fans are now in the throes of decades long title celebrations after having to wait decades for… Read more »
A RENOWNED Waterford self-defence tutor has advised against utilising moves seen in professional wrestling as part of an attempt to ward off muggers, even those that are categorically declared to be ‘the most electrifying move in sports entertainment’. “It’s very rare that you will incapacitate an assailant for long enough to kick his arm over… Read more »
FORMER FAI CEO John Delaney has made the news again today as part of an ongoing OCDE investigation into the financial affairs of the FAI during his disastrous tenure. The court heard of arrangements made by the corporate watchdog to clarify the nature of some documents and files with Delaney, who is currently residing and… Read more »
THRONGS OF Buddhist monks have descended on the home of one Waterford man after reports he achieved a transcendent state of inner calm and Nirvana earlier today, WWN can confirm. Glen Tymon (26) had been situated in his kitchen this morning when the incident occurred, which is being described as a routine, run of the… Read more »
IRISH PUBS reopen on the 29th of June, a day that will be etched into the national psyche for generations to come. Tears will be shed as drinkers are reunited with their favourite rickety stools and their drink of choice. There has never been a better time to think on what the humble Irish pub… Read more »
WITH WORD circulating that wearing face masks on public transport could become compulsory, WWN took to the streets to garner the Irish public’s opinion on the matter. The Irish people, famously reserved and reluctant to give their opinion especially on matters they are ill-informed on, were tough to coax reactions from, but WWN did its… Read more »
“I JUST feel like I let the entire Coronavirus name down” sighs a jaded, beaten-down Covid-19 virus as it gazed over the shimmering water of a lake beside the small, ruined shack it retreated to after its humiliating defeat by the World Health Organisation. “I had a shot to really stick it to humanity, really… Read more »
THE PREVAILING school of thought across swathes of academic and medical fields is now spreading throughout society, with the once fringe idea of involuntarily neutering men gaining mainstream support and approval after a snap poll amongst women. The previously unthinkable measure is gaining huge backing from anyone paying fleeting attention to scandals across industries too… Read more »
A NEW research group headed by a team of young Waterford men have published findings centred around the fact that ‘necking’ two ecstasy tablets, could help keep the doctors away and combat the Covid-19 virus. “Dey’d sweat de bastard outa ya, shur,” explained lead researcher of the study Dr. Marko Collins, crudding up a hock… Read more »
CURRENT Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has rubbished claims that his use of a Mean Girls quote was ‘inappropriate’ in a speech about Coivd-19 restrictions during TDs questions this morning, adamant that the opposition are using anything they can to discredit the amazing work he’s done during the Coronavirus outbreak. “There are many people who aren’t asking… Read more »
