Clocks To Go Back Two Years This Weekend

AUTUMN is well and truly underway with the biannual changing of the clocks to take place this coming weekend, however, this year will be slightly different to previous years as the clocks go back a record 24 months to the year 2019, WWN can report. “Due to Daylight Saving Time, we normally put our clocks… Read more »

Nothing Of Significance Revealed In ‘Facebook Papers’ Leak [SPONSORED]

A HUGE trove of leaked documents from inside Facebook released this week has shown absolutely nothing of significance to incriminate the social media giant so there’s no need to worry, please keep using it, an unprompted WWN can confirm. Allegations from staff that Facebook prioritised engagement of its users over their safety are totally unfounded,… Read more »

“Today We’re Just Going To Do All Your Favourite Things” United Board Tell Worried Solskjaer

OLE GUNNAR Solskjaer is seriously fearing for his job now that the United board has confirmed that he ‘can do whatever he wants today’ including having his favourite ice cream, watching his favourite movie and any other things he loves doing. “You wanna go go-karting too Ole? Honestly mate, whatever you want let’s do it,”… Read more »

Ticketing System Introduced For Nightclubs To Be Extended To Baggot Street Basement Orgies

WHILE ADMITTING it appears from the outside to be a complete shambles of a system that will have no material effect on Covid prevention, the government confirmed its ticketing system for nightclubs will be extended to Baggot Street basement orgies. “Remember that story? Gas wasn’t it. People emerging from a basement on Baggot Street in… Read more »

Dad Proudly Finishes Job That Didn’t Need Doing

WATERFORD dad-of-three Mark Sewell has re-joined his family indoors for the first time in over 6 weeks, having taken himself to the garden in early July to ‘do a few bits’, WWN can report. “Good to have that done” said Sewell, sitting with his family for a rare lunch together. “Took a bit longer than… Read more »