Grandparents Secretly Delighted They Can’t Mind Kids

GRANDPARENTS up and down the country have admitted to being secretly delighted with strict advice being given by authorities in a bid to combat the Covid-19 virus, WWN can confirm. Usually the go-to babysitter of choice, parents of parents relished in the fact they could remain in solitude for months without ever having to take… Read more »

Local Introverts Celebrate Cancelled Events

QUIETLY whisper-shouting a celebratory ‘yes’ to themselves under their breath, the world’s introverts, along with those who suffer from varying degrees of social anxiety, are delighting in the havoc being wreaked by Covid-19 on social gatherings both big and small. “Oh God, this is better than sex,” confirmed one introvert as she poured over the… Read more »

Woman Driving New Audi Must Have Rich Husband

A CONGLOMERATE of male observers have confirmed that a local woman driving a 2020 Audi A7 must have a very rich husband and will probably scratch ‘the absolute bejaysis’ out of the car’s 21″ alloys, WWN has learned. The woman, who was probably on the way to pick up the kids from school or getting… Read more »

BREAKING: Woman On Footpath Walking Dog On Road

MOTORISTS travelling around the Tramore area have been asked to be on high alert this afternoon after a middle-aged woman has been spotted walking her dog on the road, while she calmly walks on the footpath, WWN can confirm. Local gardaí are asking the general public to contact them immediately if they see the woman,… Read more »

Lad Off The Beer Two Days Preaching Already

A COUNTY Waterford man who has managed to abstain from drinking for two whole days has confirmed he has never felt better, and if everyone could follow his example that would be great. Dermot Ryan, recently christened a ‘fucking hero’ by friends, began divulging the benefits of his 49 hours, 32 minutes and 43 seconds… Read more »