COMFORTED by family members who insist he is much stronger than he gives himself credit for, Waterford man Tom Hafford remains a shell of his former self after a neighbour parked outside Hafford’s house in the very spot he usually parks his own car. “It’s man’s inhumanity to man, it’s just evil,” Hafford said to… Read more »
APPEALS have been made to political figures, leading NGOs and intergovernmental groups after it emerged more and more young people are blissfully rejecting societal pressure not to grow hideous mullets. “What’s more is that some are visibly proud of the rancid heap of shite they call a hairdo,” confirmed the newly incorporated Concerned Citizens Against… Read more »
A WATERFORD couple has released details of the dietary intake of their new puppy, noting that the little dog is eating less than he should of the specially-recommended Royal Doggi grain-free Alaskan Salmon flavoured puppy food, but is easily meeting his recommended daily allowance of cigarette butts and grass. In fact Tyson, now nearly 6… Read more »
SOURCES in Waterford City have pinpointed the whereabouts of one Michael Rotchford living at 189 Saint Oteri’s Place who has openly admitted to not taking the vaccine, despite apparently showing no signs of being some kind of anti-vaxx conspiracy theory nutjob, WWN has learned. Rotchford, who says he’s going down the ‘organic anti-body approach’ as… Read more »
YEARS of seasonal coffee deceit has caught up with renowned Dublin girlo Amy O’Cormac-Casey, after her friend Una Lane presented her with an extra-large pumpkin spice latte ‘just how she likes it’. “Here’s the thing, I think these things are absolute dog piss” O’Cormac-Casey confided to us, tentatively sniffing at the cinnamon-dusted beverage. “I’ve been… Read more »
THE fact that it’s still September has not deterred one Waterford family from kicking off pumpkin carving season, with their modest 3-bedroom home already filling up with intricately carved, slowly decaying squashes and gourds. “What the fuck are they like” sighed a neighbour, watching as the O’Maoinligh clan put another jack-o-lantern out on the front… Read more »
SUPERMARKET chains around the country have admitted that they only install customer-operated bread-slicing machines as a way to keep married men involved in the grocery shopping process; men like Waterford dad-of-two Cathal McGinnion, 43. “Oh now, I’d never let Sharon near the bread slicer, that’s my job,” McGinnion told us, in line with data relating… Read more »
THERE comes a time in every friendship when you just have to support your friend even though they’re very clearly wrong, but not because they are your friend rather because they’re sort of intimidating when they’re angry and you don’t deal well with confrontation. This was the exact dilemma facing Rebecca Sulnan when listening to… Read more »
TENS of thousands of Irish workers are currently trying to convince themselves that it’s nice to have a bit of ‘me time’ to listen to podcasts or just stare out the window of a stationary bus, car or train, following their return to the office for the first time in 18 months. “I forgot how… Read more »
THOUSANDS of Irish people are in dire need of group chat etiquette training according to a new report, which suggests that some users of services such as WhatsApp don’t even know that a ‘thumbs up’ emoji means ‘this conversation is over, please stop texting me’. “Yes, I’ve had this problem before with some of the… Read more »
