BURGLARY gangs around Ireland are finally getting back to pre-Covid levels, which for them means working in the homes that people, who were working from home in, are no longer working in. “It was rough there for the last few years, everyone was at home leaving very little scope for us to dodge in and… Read more »
AS PEOPLE return to normal working hours and routines following the pandemic, so too do they return to hectic evenings of trying to get a dinner on the table for the family that everyone will love and appreciate. But rather than stress about beating rush hour traffic home to have more time to make a… Read more »
“I LIKE to lay down on the backseat, peer between the front seats and watch them change the gears,” explained self-confessed cuckdriver Martin Felps, “sometimes I ask them to purposely miss a gear, so it makes that awful grinding sound – it really tingles my wobbly bits”. ‘Cuckdriving’ has been up until now a taboo… Read more »
DESPITE looking nothing like her latest carousel of social media pictures, Dorothy Woods believes that she has gotten away with the fact she’s a 45-year-old mother-of-three and not some out-of-proportion cartoon character that in no way resembles any current human being living on planet earth. “She knows everyone knows she doesn’t look anything like that,… Read more »
BREAKING news coming in from local man Paddy Rotchford today suggests there’s a ‘rake of young ones from Ukraine’ after moving into the town yesterday afternoon. “All stunners I heard,” Rotchford added, before going on to divulge more important information, “all the husbands left fighting in Ukraine then, sure they’ll probably never see them again,… Read more »
SLOUCHING over his school desk while trying to nurse the mother of all hangovers, 13-year-old Waterford teen Tony Phelan vowed to never again drink on a school night, WWN reports. Citing a banging headache, upset gut and still kind of being drunk, Phelan told fellow classmates it’s never worth it the next day. “Oh, it… Read more »
A LONG-awaited reform of Ireland’s outdated licensing laws may allow nightclubs to stay open until 6am which should be more than enough time for the majority of sessioners, but not Waterford legend Marcus Dennehy. “Ah yeah 6am, but they’ll still give you a round of shots after it for the road if you talk right… Read more »
A LITTLE goodie-two-shoes lick arse is still persisting with wearing a facemask in the supermarket despite such restrictions been lifted weeks ago, WWN can confirm. “I’d say she’s a bit of a dose now in fairness,” one shopper commented, now throwing filthy looks at the person in question as she sanitised her hands for the… Read more »
WHILE completely acknowledging the ‘nuclear grade dickheaded nature’ of what is about to come out of his mouth, local man Paul Traliure has confirmed it’s time for him to move on from this war in Ukraine business. “Some would say three weeks is a worryingly brief time for a horrific and still-unfolding war to cease… Read more »
