Woman Still Hasn’t Mastered Walking AND Texting

STOPPING every so often to type a reply to her daughter’s latest message, Dorothy Parkins shuffled along through Waterford’s busy streets like something wound up and slowly losing it perpetual motion, much to the annoyance of fellow pedestrians. “I lamped into the back of her, not a warning in sight, some of these ones need… Read more »

Signs You’re A ‘Geriatric Millennial’

Read them and weep, you ancient sack of yesterday’s youth. The term geriatric millennial has being doing the rounds for over a year and you’re only just discovering it Okay boomer. Yearning for a simpler times When the internet was dial up and the relentless 24/7 nature of social media had yet to hit you… Read more »

Husband’s Annual Half-Arsed Tidy Of House Underway

A MAJOR undertaking on a scale never before witnessed throughout the course of human history is currently unfolding at 44 Glenmare Court, Waterford. Burning as many as 11 calories during his half-arsed minutes-long attempts at cleaning the house Alan Kearnans is that rare beast; a man with a slavish devotion to keeping a tidy house…. Read more »

Friend Issues Terrifying Offer Of Night Out

THINK you have problems? Count yourself lucky that you aren’t 43-year-old Waterford man Phil MacLoone, who earlier today received a chilling text from one of his pals hinting at a possible piss-up in the pair’s near future. “Once you pass 40, you’d rather get a letter from Revenue saying there’s some irregularities with your accounts… Read more »