STOPPING every so often to type a reply to her daughter’s latest message, Dorothy Parkins shuffled along through Waterford’s busy streets like something wound up and slowly losing it perpetual motion, much to the annoyance of fellow pedestrians. “I lamped into the back of her, not a warning in sight, some of these ones need… Read more »
A LOCAL Waterford man is regretting announcing his recent undertaking of a diet to friends, families and coworkers with huge fanfare as a tub of salted caramel Haagen Daz is now lustily eyeballing him from a freezer in his local Super Valu. “I can’t, stop!” Johnny Hefferty pleaded with the ice cold temptress as his… Read more »
Read them and weep, you ancient sack of yesterday’s youth. The term geriatric millennial has being doing the rounds for over a year and you’re only just discovering it Okay boomer. Yearning for a simpler times When the internet was dial up and the relentless 24/7 nature of social media had yet to hit you… Read more »
INTERMINABLE queues that are longer than a giraffe glued to the top of a ladder have been a feature of Dublin Airport life for some time now. But rather than wallowing in the fact you’re going to miss multiple births and weddings of loved ones WWN is here to help you make the most of… Read more »
‘A LITTLE privacy when going to the toilet’ has topped the list of what dogs would like the most from the owners, with 78% of pooches polled stating that being watched while squatting for a poop ‘doesn’t make it come any faster, buddy’ in a ground-breaking new report published today. Other elements of human companionship… Read more »
A CAMPUS WIDE email has been issued by the Student Union warning students attending UCD next year to avoid Isolde Hegarty O’Dowd as the 2nd year arts student revealed she would be spending her summer in India, WWN can reveal. “She may claim she’s going over there to self-actualise on a yoga pilgrimage but really… Read more »
ONE LOCAL woman has cursed the high level attractiveness of her new boyfriend as it has left her unable to objectively judge his arseholeness due to how good he looks with his top off. “Give me some lad who looks like Quaismodo put through a meat grinder any day,” remarked Laura Finnerton, cursing the looks-great-in-couple-photos-on-Instagram… Read more »
A MAJOR undertaking on a scale never before witnessed throughout the course of human history is currently unfolding at 44 Glenmare Court, Waterford. Burning as many as 11 calories during his half-arsed minutes-long attempts at cleaning the house Alan Kearnans is that rare beast; a man with a slavish devotion to keeping a tidy house…. Read more »
THINK you have problems? Count yourself lucky that you aren’t 43-year-old Waterford man Phil MacLoone, who earlier today received a chilling text from one of his pals hinting at a possible piss-up in the pair’s near future. “Once you pass 40, you’d rather get a letter from Revenue saying there’s some irregularities with your accounts… Read more »
