Granddad Just Wants To Be Left The Fuck Alone

THE National Union of Granddads (NUG) has issued a blanket statement today declaring that the group just wants to “be left the fuck alone,” WWN reports.

The joint statement, signed by over half a million Irish granddads, called on sons and daughters to have a bit of cop-on when visiting with their kids, pointing out that they’ve already done the whole child-rearing thing and have no interest in joining in again.

“If you’re coming up, please leave the kids behind or go to the good room and leave us be, thanks,” the short but very direct statement read. “We’re finding it hard to come to terms with our eventual end, and seeing young, full-of-life children running around the place just reminds us how little motivation we have left, and how old and grumpy we’ve become with no will to engage with any human being at all – you’re lucky we’re even talking to ye.”

The NUG did clarify that it is nice to see the kids for about ten minutes at Christmas, but anything beyond that is “bordering on cruelty.”

“Even if we’re dying in a hospital bed, please leave the little fuckers behind. We don’t actually care,” the statement concluded.