Man Just Going To Tell Himself Little Brown Spot On Towel He Just Used Is Earwax

COMPARTMENTALISING the fact he had just dried his face with it, local man William Casey has reassured himself that the suspicious yellow-brown patch on his bathroom towel is, without doubt, earwax and absolutely nothing more revolting.

Avoiding the urge to sniff it for confirmation, Casey carefully continued drying himself with the now 12-year-old, once-white cotton fabric, all the while keeping a cautious eye on the haunting stain to ensure it did not touch his face again.

“I definitely cleaned my ears with it after my last shower,” Casey muttered, instantly regretting his long-standing habit of reusing towels by throwing them over the radiator to ‘save on washing’.

Mid-routine, as he flossed the towel through his undercarriage, Casey briefly reconsidered his theory, realising the stain might have originated from a less hygienic region of his body.

“I gave me arse a good scrub with the wife’s pink scrubber thing, so it couldn’t be anal leakage… could it?” the father-of-three reassured himself, before another, darker thought struck.

“Fuck. Maybe someone else used this towel!” Casey exclaimed, yanking the towel’s crusted corner from between his toes and lobbing it straight into the laundry basket before taking it out again and hanging it on a hook at the back of the toilet door. “Actually, this will still be good enough to use as a hand towel for another few weeks.”

Meanwhile, the female portion of the earth’s population have asked why they have to share the planet with men.

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