WHAT WAS proving to be a nice evening with friends and a few pints has taken a turn for the worse now local man Aaron Gannigan is once again, unprompted, divulging stories which explain the high volume of tattoos he has gotten over the years. “And this one is a special one it’s for John,… Read more »
COMPARTMENTALISING the last week of morning commutes, local man Gerry Hughs unwillingly sets out for yet another game of ‘road works roulette’, a game he has absolutely no interest in apart from its duration. “I’ll try this ring road; hopefully the new pedestrian crossing is… ah balls,” Hughs shouted at his windscreen, realising that yes,… Read more »
AFTER years of gentle pleading local man Liam Stanton has finally given into his wife on the occasion of her 69th birthday and granted her a ‘hall pass’, meaning she is free to pursue a one-off no holes barred affair. “Maura has been at me for years to book her a strapping young lad, she… Read more »
BURGLARY gangs around Ireland are finally getting back to pre-Covid levels, which for them means working in the homes that people, who were working from home in, are no longer working in. “It was rough there for the last few years, everyone was at home leaving very little scope for us to dodge in and… Read more »
AS PEOPLE return to normal working hours and routines following the pandemic, so too do they return to hectic evenings of trying to get a dinner on the table for the family that everyone will love and appreciate. But rather than stress about beating rush hour traffic home to have more time to make a… Read more »
“I LIKE to lay down on the backseat, peer between the front seats and watch them change the gears,” explained self-confessed cuckdriver Martin Felps, “sometimes I ask them to purposely miss a gear, so it makes that awful grinding sound – it really tingles my wobbly bits”. ‘Cuckdriving’ has been up until now a taboo… Read more »
DESPITE looking nothing like her latest carousel of social media pictures, Dorothy Woods believes that she has gotten away with the fact she’s a 45-year-old mother-of-three and not some out-of-proportion cartoon character that in no way resembles any current human being living on planet earth. “She knows everyone knows she doesn’t look anything like that,… Read more »
BREAKING news coming in from local man Paddy Rotchford today suggests there’s a ‘rake of young ones from Ukraine’ after moving into the town yesterday afternoon. “All stunners I heard,” Rotchford added, before going on to divulge more important information, “all the husbands left fighting in Ukraine then, sure they’ll probably never see them again,… Read more »
SLOUCHING over his school desk while trying to nurse the mother of all hangovers, 13-year-old Waterford teen Tony Phelan vowed to never again drink on a school night, WWN reports. Citing a banging headache, upset gut and still kind of being drunk, Phelan told fellow classmates it’s never worth it the next day. “Oh, it… Read more »
