Burglar Sick Of Working Nights

BURGLARY gangs around Ireland are finally getting back to pre-Covid levels, which for them means working in the homes that people, who were working from home in, are no longer working in. “It was rough there for the last few years, everyone was at home leaving very little scope for us to dodge in and… Read more »

Local Woman Under The Impression Face Filter Fooling Everyone

DESPITE looking nothing like her latest carousel of social media pictures, Dorothy Woods believes that she has gotten away with the fact she’s a 45-year-old mother-of-three and not some out-of-proportion cartoon character that in no way resembles any current human being living on planet earth. “She knows everyone knows she doesn’t look anything like that,… Read more »

“There’s Ukrainian Young Ones Staying In The Hotel Down The Road, All Stunners I Heard”

BREAKING news coming in from local man Paddy Rotchford today suggests there’s a ‘rake of young ones from Ukraine’ after moving into the town yesterday afternoon. “All stunners I heard,” Rotchford added, before going on to divulge more important information, “all the husbands left fighting in Ukraine then, sure they’ll probably never see them again,… Read more »