Woman Enters ‘Board Game Night’ Phase Of Social Life


A LOCAL woman has been forced to make peace with the fact that her social life in her 30s now consists mostly of board game nights and that her days of vomiting from pre-drinking, directly onto a bouncer, while in the queue for a nightclub may be behind her.

Grainne Castle had recently turned 32 which is 179 in ‘Nights Out’ years, and in the process a change in her ‘session hormones’ meant that she only has a desire for the most boring of social activities.

“I just invited everyone over for board games, it didn’t even feel like my own hands typed the message. I even included the phrase ‘you don’t have to drink, it doesn’t have to be that kind of night’, this was on a fucking FRIDAY!” said Castle, disgusted by the person she has become.

Greeting friends at the door in her PJs and no make up despite Emma saying she might bring her hot housemate, Mark, who would be perfect for her, Castle had unwittingly transported herself into an entirely different realm of being.

“It happens at different ages for some people, but one day your body just changes and bam, you have the same boring hobbies as an 18th century nun,” explained sessionologist Dr Henrietta Crabb.

While it may take getting some used to for Grainne, it is believed her slightly older friend 36-year-old Leanne Goggins can show her the ropes by suggesting a 9am Saturday walk which neither back out of at the last minute because they actually stayed in and didn’t drink the previous night.