Zuckerberg To Spend Nice Relaxing Evening Listening In To Everyone’s Calls

AFTER yet another busy and stressful day at Facebook HQ, American technology entrepreneur Mark Zuckerberg kicked off his $4 Walmart trainers into the area under the stairs and threw himself onto the couch for a nice relaxing evening of listening to private phone calls. Swapping from Whatsapp to Facebook messenger’s realtime calls, the young billionaire randomly highlighted a two-way video call to… Read more »

Trees Get Aroused When Ivy Chokes Them, New Research Finds

NEW biological research into the behaviour of plants has found strange electronic signals from trees in the grips of being succumbed by Hedera, commonly called ivy, indicates trees actually quite like being choked to death of light. Using sophisticated electronic probes which read into the various chemical and electrical reactions of plants, researchers at WIT college in Waterford found ‘climactic-like orgasms’… Read more »

So Your Fiancé Wants To Keep Her Surname

PLANNING a wedding? Forget flowers, cakes and cocktail sausages, what you need to sort out promptly is whether or not your bride-to-be intends to take your name after you’re married. If she is, then congrats, buddy. We wish you a lifetime of happiness. If not… you may want to consider your options… 1) Call off… Read more »

Local Girl Is Make-Up Artist Now After Watching Online Tutorial

WATERFORD girl Hellen McKeith has graduated from full-time college student to part-time college student, full-time make artist, after realising to herself that there’s ‘feck all to it’, WWN can reveal. McKeith, 20, found that her passion for online make-up tutorials, beauty blogs and putting a face on herself easily counts as training and experience, and… Read more »

“Nothing’s Wrong. I’m Fine” Written By Your Girlfriend

IN A landmark deal, WWN has secured an exclusive extract from your girlfriend’s latest “nothing’s wrong. I’m fine” speech which is due for release sometime this evening. Publication of the unprecedented follow up to last month’s “you’re not wearing those shoes, they’re all scuffed; it’s Sharon’s wedding” will likely take place on the couch in… Read more »

Lads Block Half The Street To Chat

RENOWNED pillars of the community David Tinan and Anthony Feely have brought half of the town centre to a standstill today after deciding to just simply stop and chat on the left lane of the main street, WWN can confirm. “That was some game last night, Faro is on fire,” Feely could be heard gloating… Read more »