Waterford Man Begins Preparing For Imminent Global Recession After Seeing Neighbours Install Home Sauna

“I DON’T CARE that an overall shortage in housing stock means prices will remain high and there won’t be a repeat of the 2008 crash, if these pricks are installing home fucking saunas we’re done for,” explained amateur local economist and Waterford man Stephen Swift, who is reassessing all his debt obligations, spending and assets in the wake of a wave of home sauna purchases in the Munster region.

Woken up to the sound of work men installing a home sauna in the garden of his nextdoor neighbours Martin and Sheila Feeney, Swift immediately got onto a financial advisor seeking to reassess his pension investments while also cancelling any plans this year for a holiday.

“The wife is livid but if Martin next door sweating his bollocks off in his budgie smugglers in his home sauna aren’t a sign of an impending global recession I don’t know what is. Home sauna? Fuck me,” explained Swift.

Despite what some might deem an overreaction, leading financial experts support Swift’s theory that things are now teetering on the brink.

“There’s no surer sign that we’ve lost the run ourselves than glossy features in the Indo and Irish Times on the ‘must have’ home sauna purchase which ‘can be as cheap as €3,000’. Cranes lifting a sauna into the gardens of people with already hefty mortgages is the canary in the coalmine we should all be listening to,” explained Irish economic think tank Moolah.

While there are several saunas in the gym the Feeneys are members of but never attend, the single-income Waterford couple felt installing one at home was just more convenient.

“You’re welcome to try it any time Stephen, practically pays for itself, the sales guy said the infra-red light one was cheaper but this is something we’re going to use every day for the next 20 years so we went with the deluxe option, can’t skimp on these things,” explained neighbour Martin, who recently used Klarna to pay for his take away from the local chipper.

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