German Tourist Wakes Up Early To Place Towel Across Entirety Of Tramore Beach

LOCAL COUNCIL officials have been called on to provide round the clock beach security after an unseemly incident involving early-rising German tourists, who have for the 4th day in a row claimed the entire 5km stretch of Tramore beach for themselves.

“Is it mein fault the locals who are the lazy don’t awake early to put down their towels?” German tourist Tomas Fischer asked, as his stern expression frightened off anyone daring to mess with the universally excepted rule that a downed towel on a patch of beach or sun-lounger means it is taken.

“What crazy persons does not want to claim some a beautiful location for themselves? My wife Elke, she says this must be where the happiness lives such is the beauty,” added Fischer, somewhat winning locals back by complimenting the tourist town’s famous stretch of beach.

While Irish people are well known for stubbornly asserting themselves, experts believe a hangover from the Angela Merkel years and the IMF bailout has left the nation unable to correct or question German people.

“It’s the kids I’m fuming for boi, they’ve a surf camp but shure they can’t get onto the beach ‘cus this fella and a few of his mates have the whole beach bagsied for themselves,” shared one concerned local Tom Power.

The council has said it will explore potentially politely asking the Fischers to refrain from waking at 6am tomorrow to place their 5 kilometre long towel down on the beach but that with tourism across the country taking a hit, it would be unwise to take an aggressive approach.

“We appeal to locals to just let them do what they want, dogging, nudist beach, whatever it takes to get an extra few euro into the town,” confirmed a statement from the council.

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