Wreck The Head Friend Ruins BBQ By Banging Out About Climate Change

A GROUP of friends enjoying a BBQ amidst the blistering sunshine in Dublin have regretted inviting resident friend group ‘wreck the head’ David Clohessy, who has insisted on making it all about climate change.

“Wall to wall lashing rain last July, and now? You’d burn your tits off if you took your top off for five seconds. Lads, I’m stating facts, don’t shoot the messenger,” implored Clohessy, who was waiting for the right time to mention the methane emissions of the cows slaughtered to make the burgers sizzling on the grill.

“Scientists say the heatwave on mainland Europe was 4 degrees hotter due to the climate change, potentially leading a lot of deaths of vulnerable people, sorry Mike but you asked, and don’t get me started on using charcoals for the BBQ,” confirmed Clohessy, to a friend who just mentioned it was nice to be out of the moldy house they rent and in the fresh air.

In the much the same way BBQ attendees felt energised by the presence of the sun and could feel their spirits lifted, Ireland hitting any temperature over 13 degrees filled Clohessy with the energy to bring all conversations back to climate change.

“It was quick in the end thank God, she didn’t suffer but obviously I miss her she’s my mam,” said one BBQ enjoyer only for Clohessy to interject and point out that many climate scientists are forecasting a quick end to humanity itself if we breach the 1.5°C global warming limit.

UPDATE: Clohessy rejected all assertions that his decision to chuck his leftover food in the ‘recycling only’ bin would have any detrimental effect on the planet, similarly, working for a leading multi-national with a carbon footprint visible from space was immaterial.

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