“I DON’T care what they did in the past, how much money they have or whatever the issue with them, I’m just looking for someone as good looking as me to appear beside me in Instagram photos,” single Waterford woman Denise Hurley tells WWN. “Convict, homeless, has only one leg; it’s no odds on me… Read more »
THE HSE has pledged to make their drug analysis tent at this year’s Electric Picnic as user-friendly as possible, promising frank and clear language around what will and won’t leave you ‘chawing the fucking jaw off yourself’. As such, the HSE has only hired healthcare professionals with extensive festival-going experience to man the tent, with… Read more »
ANY hope that Brexit would see a reduction in lagered-up British pissheads eating plates of beans in blazing sunshine of Europe’s favourite holiday destinations have been dashed, after a recent survey showed no fall in the number of Britons travelling abroad this year. “For a country of people who held a vote to decide how… Read more »
WITH binge-drinking now back to pre—pandemic levels, many people are finding the alcohol-imbibing prowess they once possessed has abandoned them, and they’re now relying on outside help to ascertain just how fucked up they were at that work do last night. If you’re new to blacking out or if you just need a refresher, here’s… Read more »
HOLIDAY tropes such as ‘airport pints’ and ‘sure you couldn’t beat it’ pics by the pool have been given an overhaul to better reflect the state of vacationing in 2022, so please draw from the following list of cliches when travelling this summer. You know you’re on holiday… …when the price of renting a car… Read more »
RUNNING THE risk of permanently lodging his eyes in the roof of his skull, perennially put-upon local co-worker Mike Straffan is once again unfeasibly displeased with a basic request from a colleague. Mouthing ‘fuck sake’ as Lauren from sales made a beeline for his desk, Straffan remains absolutely livid at every office request he is… Read more »
THE DIFFICULT demands of some pub patrons have been highlighted once again as the staff at Waterford haunt McCreeders have been subjected to one woman’s quest to replicate a gin cocktail she had on holidays once. “Well I wasn’t on holidays, I saw some influencer drink it in Dubai on Insta. I specifically asked for… Read more »
DATING app Tinder has introduced a raft of new features aimed specifically at the rural Irish market, in a bid to attract new customers who feel that internet dating is something that only works for ‘them up in Dublin’, WWN can report. The new measures include: – A ‘shift my mate’ option where you can… Read more »
INNOCENTLY towering over a red stained kitchen table laced with cigarette ash and cheese crumbs, several empty bottles of wine stood silently in unison like they didn’t just fuck you six ways to Sunday. “Whose idea was it to open a fourth bottle last night,” your dehydrated head asks rhetorically, before flashbacks confirmed it was… Read more »
