Nice Healthy Walk Ends In Pub

WHAT was intended to be a nice healthy walk for local couple Darren and Geraldine Power has once again ended up in the pub, WWN has learned.

Setting out after dinner at 7pm this evening, the good-intentioned pair power-walked a solid 23 minutes before realising they were suspiciously close to their local pub, seemingly unaware that their chosen route brought them directly there from their house in a straight line.

“We were chatting so much we were on autopilot and it seems we’re somehow here drinking pints,” Darren Power recalled of the sudden pint-stop, the couple’s third this week.

Attempting to exercise more, the couple said their week started out really well, managing 11,000 steps on Sunday, 9,000 on Monday and 3,000 on Tuesday.

“That 3,000 was to the pub and back and in and out to the smoking area,” Geraldine admitted. “We also managed 4,000 yesterday, but again that was to the pub and then the off-licence after the pub.”

The phenomenon of going for a nice healthy walk and ending up in the pub has seemingly spiked in recent weeks, with those falling victim to pints citing the clever positioning of pubs, the weather, nothing else to do, it being nearly Christmas, and any other excuse they can come up with on the way in the door.

“Like, if the pub wasn’t just there looking all cosy with the fire on every time I passed, I probably wouldn’t go in,” local “walker” John Maher explained, surrounded by dozens of similarly dressed people in walking gear sipping pints. “It gets too cold then to leave, so you’ve got to warm yourself up with a few cold ones first.”