Social Services Now Requiring Parents To Disclose Whether Or Not They Tortured ‘Sims’ Characters When They Were Younger 

A NEW part of the vetting process used by social services in Ireland is set to be implemented by dozens of countries worldwide following a successful trial period.

“Whether you’re looking to foster, adopt or have your own children, it will now be a requirement to disclose if you built a brick wall around your Sims characters, walling them in and forcing them to wet themselves,” confirmed social worker Patricia Caldwell.

“Tell tale signs of a person being unfit to look after children are never as evident and clear as we’d like them to be, but if we get a look at your last saved Sims game from when you were a teenager, then we’d concrete evidence that you’re a potential psycho,” added Caldwell, who explained this invaluable disclosure can save a lot resources and times.

“I thought I wanted to adopt but in fairness, I used to trap my Sims in their house and set it on fire, it’s only right I’m put on some list,” offered once hopeful adopter Carole Stewart.

Adoption agencies have welcomed the new vetting rules.

“If you built a swimming pool with too high walls and no ladder out of it, just so you could drown your Sims, you really think you’re fit for children? We’d rather Fred and Rose West over you, you sickos,” confirmed New Start adoption services.

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