BREAKING: 3I/Atlas Does Loop-The-Loop

SPARKING more speculation about its origins, the 3I/Atlas “comet” has reportedly performed a loop-the-loop, wowing scientists before sprouting wings and flying behind the sun, peering out every couple of hours to give a little wave, WWN Science reports.

The new revelations, confirmed by some lad living up the Comeragh Mountains with one of those big telescopes he bought in Aldi, have sent conspiracy theorists into overdrive this week as to what exactly the interstellar object is.

“I think it’s trying to communicate with us,” said local Waterford astronomer Derek Keane during a press conference held in his sitting room late last night after a feed of pints. “NASA is trying to cover it up. I’ve been following it since day one and saw it loop-the-loop and even write messages in the sky like ‘I want you back, Derek – love Siobhán.’”

Despite the wild theories, 3I/Atlas’s strange trajectory has the world of stargazers perplexed, giving internet threads months of content for what really should just be a passing lump of space rock.

“This is the start of the end in 2027,” another local astronomer chimed in at the press conference, which had to be briefly postponed after Jimbo Power set off the fire alarm in the kitchen by burning black pudding.

“It’s a false flag designed to get the world scared and under the control of a one-world government,” the astronomer concluded, before falling asleep into his cold, charred late-night pig’s blood sausage meal.