Tim Cook Upgraded To Tim Head Chef After Software Patch

IT’S BEEN A landmark day at Apple’s Cupertino HQ today as Tim Cook has finally been upgraded to Time Head Chef thanks to the latest iOS update taking effect, WWN Tech can confirm.

“No more burning toast for me,” confirmed Head Chef, the 65-year-old Apple CEO, as he reported increased functionality and seamless button free interaction with his kitchen.

“Oh wow, I even got a hat,” confirmed Head Chef as he hazed in the mirror to discover his latest update came with the addition of a comically large chef’s hat.

Head Chef joined Apple in 1998, then as Tim Porter, but availed of several updates on his rise through senior positions in the company until attaining what many believe to be his highest, peak form.

“Nowhere else to go from here, oh God, is this it? Is this all I’ll be?” a panicked Cook suddenly pondered, echoing the words of the production line workers in Apple’s China based Foxconn factories.