Man Excitedly Points Out Obese Irish Person On Mobility Scooter

“LIKE SOMETHING from America,” said local man Terry Hughes to his wife Jane, as he nearly choked on the Coke he just bought in the McDonald’s drive-thru, unable to contain his excitement at seeing his first ever mobility scooter.

“Yes I’ve seen them before but that was different, they had a disability or were mad ancient, the young one there she’s like them ones you see in Walmart on the internet, quick take a picture, I’m driving so I can’t,” continued an absurdly amped up Hughes as he did a U-turn in the road in order to get closer to the action.

“This is different love, she’s Irish, you’d never see the like. And I don’t think there’s any social housing close to this McDonald’s either, mad”.

Insisting this incident is yet more proof of Ireland having gone to the dogs, Hughes spent the rest of the journey home with his wife shaking his head in disbelief.

“D’ya remember when we were in Florida that time, everywhere they were, would have you thought it, huh? In Ireland. Mad, isn’t it. It’ll be us paying for all that with the HSE,” said Hughes, sounding for all the world like David Attenborough stumbling upon the last known wild white rhino.

UPDATE: Hughes has been in a non-verbal sulk for the last two hours after his wife suggested ‘people in glass houses’ while reminding her husband what the GP said to him last year about cutting back on the beer and upping his activity levels.

UPDATE 2: “That was very hurtful, there was no need for that now, commenting on my appearance like that” an emotional Hughes has said to his wife, finally emerging from his sulk.