Knock At Front Door Strange, As Local Man Hates All People & Has No Friends

A LOCAL Waterford based shut in has confirmed that the thudding sound coming from the entrance hall of his house sounds remarkably like a person knocking but that couldn’t be the case because he has made it his business to live a life unbothered by arseholes.

“Mad that, sounds exactly like someone knocking but it can’t be, I hate all people,” reasoned Dermot Carolan.

Content in the knowledge he has ordered no bulky items from an online retailer and that no one would gift him the same, Carolan made his way to the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

“There it is again, and sort of a faint ‘Dermot’ sound like a person calling out a name,” Carolan said to himself as he closed his fridge door.

Considered the height of inconsiderate rudeness, many introverts have to contend with unsolicited knocks at the door despite the fact they have spent their life artfully ensuring to reduce the chances of anyone thinking they could just ‘pop by’ to zero.

“No, it can’t be. Ha, had myself going there for a second. A visitor? And me crafting a persona as a curmudgeonly cunt whose stare who melt the face off a statue and is less hospitable than an island made entirely from fire ants. A visitor? Haha,” Carolan confirmed.

“Jesus, a talking letterbox, I’ve seen everything now,” Carolan said as he made his way back to his sitting room, ignoring his brother’s face which could be made out peering through the letterbox flap in the hall doorway.

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