Exhausted Government Take Rest Of Year Off After Re-Announcing Spending Plans They Had Already Announced

“A HERCULEAN EFFORT” one government insider said, describing the tireless efforts of the government to invite the media to the launch of something they had previously already launched when they originally stated their intention to plan on implementing a series of strategies at some point in the future.

Outlining how large sums of money may or may not be spent while leaving the door open for changes/complete cancellations at a later date has clearly taken its toll on the government as it can’t see how it can top such pronouncements in the remaining weeks so might as well pick back up with the public in 2026.

“You’ve no idea how hard we worked on rephrasing what was already announced during the budget, announced again separately by the department and now is being re-said once again by the minister. Imagine having to find non-binding ways to say ‘we’re definitely doing it’ multiple times, we’re flat out,” said one spokesperson who feel asleep from exhaustion after completing this sentence.

Re-announcing previously announced announcements was described by the government as ‘critical’ when it comes to giving ministers a chance to look important and busy but such efforts then require a restful period of recovery.

“If ‘new defence spending’, ‘housing targets’ etc sound familiar that’s because they are, however, copy and pasting isn’t without great physical cost to those standing at lecterns behind posters that say stuff like ‘a vision for tomorrow’ giving speeches which sound eerily similar to the last big announcement, heroes like us need a bit of time off now and again,” offered the Taoiseach, who explained that while the Dáil is sitting next week, everyone will be phoning it in like the day after a Christmas party.

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