Category: WORLD NEWS

Aw This Cute Old Man Shot Dead Someone With Learning Difficulties In The Back And Now Assholes Want Justice

TALK ABOUT unfair! Internet users hearts were melted by this adorable and infirm old man when British MPs came to his aide after he was needlessly forced to stand trial by ‘the haterz’ who claim he is credibly accused of murdering an unharmed man with learning difficulties during his time serving in Northern Ireland. Something… Read more »

World Leaders Surprised It Took Thunberg So Long To Realise That They’re Full Of Shit

WORLD leaders have welcomed Greta Thunberg’s latest call out at a youth climate summit in Milan yesterday after the 18-year-old activist openly mocked their persistent empty words and half-hearted promises, WWN reports. “Finally, she’s getting the fact that she and her peers are proverbially pissing against the wind,” replied French President Emmanuel Macron, after being… Read more »

Sea Of Japan Finally Surrenders To North Korea

AFTER years of bombardment from North Korea, a spokesperson for the Sea of Japan has offered its surrender, calling for the rogue state to cease all missile strikes against the giant mass of seawater, WWN reports. Waving a large white flag from the depths of the ocean, the Sea of Japan stated that the ongoing… Read more »

Everything Is All Under Control, Insists Burning Johnson

SPEAKING from outside a smoke-filled Number 10 this morning, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson has insisted that ‘everything is all under control’ while simultaneously patting out patches of fire on his person, WWN reports. Frantically blowing off billowing smoke, Johnson rubbished any criticism that the U.K. is currently in a grip of a self-inflicted crisis… Read more »

Taliban Actually Quite Strict, Finds Report

A STARTLING new report into Afghanistan’s newly installed government has found that religious fundamentalist group the Taliban are in fact quite strict when it comes to crimes such as stealing, WWN has learned. “Thieves will have their hands and even feet cut off if they reoffend, however, rapists not so much,” a Taliban spokesperson explained,… Read more »