Category: WORLD NEWS

One Less Dickhead To Worry About

JAIR BOLSONARO’S defeat in the Brazilian presidential election by Lula Da Silva has officially reduced the number of dickheads the world has to worry about by a single digit, WWN can reveal. “The bigger the dickhead and more important the position they hold, the greater the worry. Ken in accounts might always forget to put… Read more »

IMF Dusts Off Old Austerity Manual

PREPARING for their usual default austerity routine kept for when the world’s financial institutions and politicians lose the run of themselves and ruin the economy through mismanagement and the overprinting of money, IMF Chief Kristalina Georgieva took down the International Monetary Fund’s go-to folder before dusting it off with a smile. “We honestly didn’t think… Read more »

“His Message Of Further Fucking The Poor Really Resonated”: Tories Backing Sunak For PM

SECURING A commanding number of MPs’ support Rishi Sunak is in line to become Britain’s next PM as his clear message of ‘punish the poor’ resonated deeply with the Tory party. “He’s promising a very mature economic vision that will restore calm to the markets by which I mean he’ll Edward Scissorhands essential services and… Read more »

Ireland Completely Sells Out Of Popcorn

POPCORN manufacturers are urgently trying to replenish stocks in Ireland amid a record demand for the snack which serves as the perfect accompaniment to watching highly entertaining content. “We’ve shifted 200 tonnes in the last few days, the appetite is insatiable. For whatever reason Irish people can’t get enough of it” confirmed one Irish retailer,… Read more »

Liz Truss Revealed To Be Sacha Baron Cohen

GOING some way to explaining why the ongoing chaos of Liz Truss’s premiership is proving so hilarious, comedic chameleon and boundary pusher Sasha Baron Cohen has finally taken credit for his transformative performance art piece as the MP for South West Norfolk. “Getting into the make up and prosthetics every was the hard part but… Read more »