Origins Of Man’s Flirting Technique Traced Back To Shaggy’s Mr Boombastic
ONE IRISH man’s consistent use of a universally unsuccessful flirting technique which has seen him scare off every woman he has chatted up in a bar can be traced back to his exposure as a teenager to Shaggy’s mid-90s hit ‘Mr Boombastic’.
Eye witness accounts provided to WWN confirm that Waterford man Chris Howlin (42) internally sings the lyrics to the 90s classic when ‘out on the prowl’ in a bid to give him the necessary confidence to spark up conversation and project an air of undeniable sex appeal.
“We’re all prone to adopting parts of popular culture as our own personality in our formative years, the 90s for many teenage boys involved just repeating Jim Carrey movie bits until someone punched you in the face to get you to stop. However, for Chris, it’s something worse, different and he hasn’t grown out of it,” confirmed one expert on Irish men’s abysmal flirting technique.
“Unfortunately Howlin was 14 at the time Mr Boombastic came out so it’s rooted so deeply within his psyche it’s hard to discern where Howlin begins and Mr Boombastic ends. In turn this has meant he’s gone into every interaction with women brimming with toxic levels of smug satisfaction as he genuinely believes he is totally fantastic. The swagger, confidence, playful 90s reggae charms, he thinks it’s freely flowing through him”.
Experts monitoring Howlin, who confidently carries himself with the air the bastard child of Ryan Gosling, Michael B. Jordan and Pedro Pascal, continues to introduce himself as ‘Mr Lover Lover’ to women despite it never once working.
“Oh God, it’s the arms out wide, the looking women up and down while biting his lips, gyrating hips – he’s just acting out the video in full,” said one onlooker who tried to scratch out their eyes to avoid being witness to Howlin’s misguided flirting attempts.
Howlin’s chronic failure to successful mate with a woman using this technique means he is still somehow in the top 10% of Irish men when it comes to flirting.