House Prices Now Higher Than Your Uncle Tony At A Stag In Amsterdam

IRISH house prices are now higher than your uncle Tony walking around the red-light district in Amsterdam during a stag party after a cocktail of drugs and booze, a new CSO report has published.

Tony, notorious for his wild shenanigans, has been surpassed by how high house prices have soared in Ireland, with your uncle pointing out that there is a ‘huge bloody comedown’ due very soon.

“I may be off my noodle, but I know one thing is for certain: what goes up, must come down,” Tony explained, puking into a canal like it was a natural thing to do before carrying on and casually wiping off bits of digested burger off the picture of his friend’s face printed on his stag t-shirt, “the higher you go the harder the landing is and just like I’m not looking forward to tomorrow, the Irish property market will be in the same condition in the next couple of years”.

Despite never owning a home, or holding down a relationship for more than three weeks, Tony warned that this ‘property comedown’ was going to be far worse than the one in 2008, much like his legendary hangover from your mum’s wedding in 2004 where he was found sleeping naked on the hotel stairs after soiling the carpet, shutting down the hotel for 3 days and costing the family over two grand in cleaning fees.

“It doesn’t take an expert to see where it’s all going,” Tony concluded, before necking three adult portions of hallucinogenic truffles into himself like there was no tomorrow.