Bored God Prays To Local Man For A Change


CITING the fact that being in a permanent state of existence, dating back long before he invented humanity, is quite boring God has confirmed that boredom got the better of him the other day when he reached out to local man Conor McCarthy and prayed directly to him.

“You get bored, what can I say?” explained God. “Doing weird little things like this can break up the day y’know? It took longer than I liked to convince Conor the voice in his head wasn’t schizophrenia but I understand his screaming”.

God also explained a motivation for reaching out to a person, plucked at random from the 8 billion plus souls roaming the earth, was also a case of testing out the ‘see how they like it’ hypothesis.

“Humans seems to think they can ask for anything, any time of day, an endless number of times and it’s just water off a duck’s back. I invented that duck! I invented the back! But still with humans, they ask ask ask, take take take. I just wanted to see how one of them coped with it,” a frustrated God explained.

Mr McCarthy, a logistics specialist based in Wexford, gave his reaction to this unprecedented scenario to WWN.

“Luckily it was on my lunch break, I wouldn’t be getting much chance to consider and weigh in on prayers when I’m in the middle of work like,” explained McCarthy.

“Obviously God has appeared to people before, made requests of them ‘kill your son this’, ’round up animals on an ark that’ but I think this is the first time he’s specifically prayed to someone,” continued McCarthy.

“It’s nice he thought of me and that, but I don’t think I’m the guy to answer his prayers, y’know. There was no FAS course for that when I doing my logistics training back in the day”.

Despite praying to McCarthy for a subsequent 14 times, God received no answer to the question ‘why am I here? What is my purpose? What does this all mean?’