Scientists Explore Link Between Amnesia & Serving On RTÉ Board


SCIENTISTS in TCD are seeking to research a troubling health trend which is seemingly occurring in a very localised form, affecting only those individuals serving on the board of state broadcaster RTÉ, WWN has been told.

The efforts to isolate what links serving on the RTÉ board and sudden amnesia comes in the wake of the resignation of RTÉ chair Siún Ní Raghallaigh; a result of Minister for Culture Catherine Martin claiming she was twice ‘misinformed’ by Ní Raghallaigh on her knowledge and part in the board’s approval of recent exit packages.

“We need to look into the oxygen supply in the rooms they hold meetings, what food they’re eating and, clearly, what they’re smoking,” explained lead researcher on the project Olwyn McGahan, who has appealed for funding which could lead to a breakthrough cure for amnesia for all current and former RTÉ board members.

“I’m sure we can all imagine how worrying it would be to wake one day and suddenly have no recollection of signing off on lucrative exit packages for disgraced colleagues when confronted with questions about it by the Minister for Culture,” added McGahan.

“It’s not a laughing matter, we have a duty to these people to find out why their memory gets the Men In Black treatment any time they are asked a difficult question”.

As a cautionary measure, the government has frozen all bank accounts operated by RTÉ before someone accidentally signs off a large severance package for Ní Raghallaigh and then develops amnesia.

UPDATE: In a commonsense move the study has been expanded to serving Irish politicians as well.