Ripped Enoch Burke In Gym All Day Leading Religious Prison Gang

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PRISON sources have revealed today that Enoch ‘The Knocker’ Burke is settling into prison life quite well and has doubled his body mass in just 275 days and is now leader of an entire Mountjoy Prison wing after converting dozens of inmates to ‘whatever batshit branch of Christianity he’s a part of’.

Still receiving his teacher’s salary while inside despite a permanent injunction restraining him from attending the school he was barred from, The Knocker Burke’s fortune has given him leverage over his fellow prisoners, putting down contracts on non-believers and targeting all forms of homosexuality in the prison.

“He’d sometimes lay gay traps like bars of soup in the showers to see who’d ‘try it’,” an anonymous prison source told WWN who admitted to being scared for their life.

“He has a strict no pronoun rule across D wing and will condemn any of his followers to hell for even saying the word ‘they’,” the source added, “have you any idea how hard it is not to use the word ‘they’ in everyday life? It’s just a fucking word”.

Burke stated at a court hearing yesterday that he has spent almost a year behind bars because he was being punished for his opposition to ‘transgenderism’ and his refusal to comply with a direction from the school to address a teenage student by a different pronoun.

“You’re in prison because you refuse to stop creeping around the school you’ve been fired from, for not paying huge fines and for also being a little cunt in court,” the exhausted judge concluded.

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